**cue Pomp and Circumstance**
I've officially graduated! And I get to wear the poofy hat and velvet-striped get-up that doctoral grads get, because hell, I've worked my ass off and have earned it.
I have graduated from the far-away clinic.
My lab numbers were good enough to get the heave-ho. E2 was 1200-something, and that's been good all along. P4 was lower, at 18.4, but the nurse did not seem at all concerned that it was low (below 20). She said that number is produced all by me, and it was plenty high. So, ok, I'll trust her. They got me this far, right?
So, given the big developments of the last 2 days - given the boot by both docs that have been following me (well, one month f/u by my OB) - how am I feeling?
Mixed.
On one hand, I'm so excited to begin being a "normal" pregnant lady. Not going to the doctor's office all the time. Having plans that don't have to bend around injections or bedrest or blood draws. That part is really nice.
BUT. I'm still a product of many years of IF. Many failures, many times on the wrong side of the stats. So I've come to rely on frequent confirmation from docs about how I'm doing, and now, how the critter is doing. And now I have a long stretch of time before I get that outside reassurance.
I've thought about renting a doppler, but I'm just not so sure I need it. Yes, I'm nervous, but I'm not to the point of panic yet. I'm trying real hard to be "normal" here. I'm not sure why this is so important to me, but I seem to mention "normal" on here all the time. I guess I feel I've been robbed of many things going through IF, I am eager to have everyday experiences again. Trying to get my life back. Or getting the life I thought I'd have back on track.
So, graduation has brought on some worry, and some imbalance. I'm trying to manage it, and so far I'm doing ok.
But stay tuned...things change quickly around here.
Repeat: Cold Peace
1 day ago
Hurrah! Congratulations on graduation!
ReplyDeleteYou can borrow my puffy hat! Congratulations Pie, this really is good news. I'm so happy for you!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how it can just seem to never be enough? I think that's the challenge of so many areas of our lives--to trust, to let go, to just be in the moment. No doubt it's scary graduating, but you're right--CCRM got you this far! I think you're in for (and due for) smooth sailing!
ReplyDeleteGREAT NEWS! The best graduation ever...except the official graduation to mommyhood which is right around the corner!
ReplyDeleteThat's great news! I'm a bad commenter these days but still here and cheering you and critter along!
ReplyDeleteYay for graduation! You deserve to be a 'normal' pregnant lady. :)
ReplyDeletecongratulations on your graduation!!!! Hope you get a nice certificate to stick on your wall... it will read "you are now a normal pregnant woman, go forth and be ignorant!" !!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, I'm sure it IS scary to be out of the micro management of your RE, but they have only let you go because you are doing so brilliantly and everything is perfect with the critter. You are going to be a mother Pie, no doubt about it! so exciting!!!!!
Woot woot! Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteHave you found a regular OB yet? Congrats on being part of the normal world again! What a great feeling for you!
ReplyDeleteAWESOME. This is just such good news. You can have as many scans as you like anytime you like but I hope you head is coming to terms with it a bit better, but different people react differently. I still think every scan for us has a lump in the throat, it just does and it just will.
ReplyDelete