57%

I got the results back on the "no result" blast from our January cycle. In fact, Dr. Famous called me himself (from what sounded like his car, but whatever!). Turned out this Day 5 6AB was messed up all which ways. As Dr. Famous said, it had "multiple" genetic abnormalities. He did not have the exact info of which chromosomes were missing/too many (more proof he was in his car!), so I'll follow up with the nurse to satisfy my own curiosities. But in my mind, more proof that the visual grading system is bupkus.

Actually, I'm ok with this. I have 4 euploids, and I'm happy with that. 57% of all the blasts I made were euploid. Not bad in my book. Now, if I break it down by how many eggs were retrieved, or were mature or that fertilized, well that stat goes down hill quickly. So we'll not go there, m'kay?

I like 57%. That is the neighborhood of what I was prepared to get going into this testing. For once, and I hope this is a trend moving forward into FET, that I am following the normal stats. I'm not the outlier here. That's nice.

Decorating a nursery, IF-style

Yesterday I was grocery shopping, and did a swing by Trader Joe's. Can't do all the shopping there, but I needed roasted red peppers, arugula and cats cookies (mmmm, I love these!!) so to TJ's I went.

My local TJ's shares a parking garage with a very high-end baby store. I parked and went in to TJ's, thinking as I passed the baby store that someday I'd get to actually go in there. You see, I've never set foot in this store. I've heard many, many moms and moms-to-be talk about how great, cute, sweet, blah,blah,blah this store is. I've never been. I'm not in the club. Yet (I hope!).

Anyway, on my way out, I notice a sign they are selling, peeking out of the window of the store. The sign said, in cutesy cursive "All because two people fell in love".

Huh, is that all it takes?

So I started thinking what would my cutesy nursery sign say?

How about "All because my parents live in a IF-mandated insurance coverage state."

OR "All because of 3 REs, a great embryologist and his team and lab, numerous injections, several break-downs, and two parents that still love each other after it is all said and done."

Too wordy?

Monday tidbits

I've got to get better about posting more often. I mean to, but then don't. It will be my April Fools' Day resolution.

Today is the day I get to order my meds for FET! That means estrogen! YAY and hallelujah! I'm still having hot flashes, last night was bad. I miss a night's sleep where I actually sleep through the night. Maybe that is in my future. Please!

I'm also re-starting acupuncture in prep for the FET. I'm going to a new practice because the woman I used to go to has moved out the 'burbs, and I'm not driving 20 miles out past where Jesus lost his sandals to get needled. So I go for my first appointment with a new lady on Wednesday. We'll see how I like the new people.

I babysat for my niece on Saturday - and she is the cutest thing. She is 2 and a half now (time flies by!) and she is talking up a storm. And playing with toys, singing songs, dancing. Cute! It doesn't fill my heart with sadness to be with her, I just love her too much. But it does wrench my heart a little to see her with my brother and sister-in-law, seeing how she just loves her parents. That special bond. A teeny bit jealous of that. Ok, maybe a teeny bit more than a teeny bit.

Have you seen this?

So lately, in what seems like high rotation, I've seen a new commercial for Essure. I'm not even sure what is is (IUD? Pill? Surgery?) but here's what I do know - I yell at the TV every time I see it.

If you haven't seen this commercial, let me illustrate.

A happy family at a child's soccer game, or at least at the park playing soccer. (I begin to be jealous of them at this point.)

But wait! The mother is plagued by questions floating around her head (literally).

"What if I get pregnant again?"

"What would we do?"

"Will I ever stop worrying?"

And then the God-like voice comes in from nowhere: "Do you ever worry about unplanned pregnancy?"

And this is where I shout out "NOOOOOOO! No, I don't!"

I saw this for the first time with my mom when we were couching it after the fibroid surgery. My mom laughed. Since then, as me and the hubby have seen it, he now starts saying "Fuck you, lady. Quit your whining. How about you take 2 doses of shut-the-fuck-up and don't call me in the morning?"

This is what IF has reduced us to. Yelling at fertiles on the TV.

Here it is - click here.


Edited to add: Oh holy moley, Mo is right (see comments). This is advertising the process of inserting a "device" into both fallopian tubes, and letting them scar for 3 months. Then you undergo an HSG to make sure the device "worked" i.e. your tubes are scarred closed. Damn, I've got to imagine that HSG would hurt like hell with blocked tubes. Heh.

So, in summary, this is advertising to fertiles the option of becoming infertile, forever. I bet they don't have to pay tens of thousands of dollars for it, either.

Weekend update

The laptop is fixed! I'm on it right now, and am soooo happy to have it back. Lounging on the couch, surfing the web kicks sitting at a desk's ass any day.

And the spotting stopped. I think my uterus heard me threatening to call the doctor, which of course means the threat of having yet another person look up my cooch. So being the smart ute that she is, she got her act together, healed and stopped bleeding. Nothing since Tuesday night. I even got back to the gym on Friday, which felt nice.

Hot flashes continue, and worst of all it seems like they are made worse by alcohol. So even though I could be living it up before the FET, it's not really worth the heat. Well, not always. I'm not that good.

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Holy hot flash, Batman!

Whew. That's all I gots to say. Whew. As I wipe my brow.

Since my second injection of depot loopyron last week, I am just on fire. Seriously, this is way worse than the first month. I get sweaty and hot, then cooler and clammy. Rinse and repeat. My hubby kissed me on the forehead this morning and was like "Ewwww, you're all clammy!" Very romantic, let me tell you.

So I am beginning the estrogen countdown. I begin patches for the FET on April 6, and although I'll still be on a small dose of regular loopyron, I'm thinking the Viv.elle patches should end this menopause crapola. I cannot wait. 3 weeks.

I'm also still spotting a bit from the fibroid surgery. They said it was supposed to last 2-3 days, but it is now 6 days, and it is still going. Not brown, either. A bright, cherry red. I'm gonna call tomorrow if it does not stop. It's not a lot, using a panty liner is enough, but still. I want it done. I should be able to reap the one benefit from depot loopyron, right? (That would be no period, for those of you lucky enough never to have to endure this hell.)

Other than that, I'm still in computer hell. I'm now on an old desktop computer, because the laptop is still messed up. Should be fixed by later this week, but I apologize for delayed or absent commenting. I'm trying to keep up, and I miss you guys!

a real update

Ahhh, the internet. How I've missed you! How did any of us survive before 1997? Seriously, I cannot remember.

Mr. P brought his work laptop home, and that means I get to spend all weekend catching up on the happenings of the bloggy-net world. Not only IF, but I love to read all the Lost stuff too, so I will have a lot of reading ahead of me today.

As I said before (and I really am so impressed with myself for updating this blog from my phone - that is waaay tech savvy for me) the surgery went really well. It was much less traumatic than an ER, and I think that is because I'm not all jacked up on hormones, my ovaries are not swollen to the size of mangoes, and I haven't been uncomfortable for days on end. The surgery was trans-vaginal, so no incisions to heal. Much easier.

On Tuesday after flying in and meeting my mom, I had an appointment with Dr. Famous. First, I took my second (and last!) depot loopyron shot. Then, he gave me a prescription for miso.prostol, which was supposed to dilate my cervix. I'd read horror stories about this, which is taken vaginally, about horrible cramping and pain. Even Dr. Famous said it could be bad, and to take some of the post-op Perc.o.sets if it is bad. OMG! Needless to say, I was scared of these pills.

Went out for a nice dinner with my mom. It was really nice to hang out one-on-one with my mom, we were able to catch up, chat and just had a nice time together, without anyone else around. Then screwed up my courage and inserted the first evil pill.

And waited. Kept waiting.

Nothing. Maybe a mild twinge of pulling, but certainly not pain. I slept pretty well that night. So much for the horror from those pills.

Went to the surgery early the next morning, and it was also pain-free. They used a more general anesthesia than during ER, so I was really out. But I woke up much better than from an ER. I tend to be an emotional mess when waking up from ERs, in pain and freaked out. This time, just a little groggy, fuzzy in the head. But otherwise ok. Only needed some tyle.nol for pain. Ate my graham crackers and ginger ale and went home to the hotel.

Slept for a few hours, and then had lunch and hung out watching HG.TV with my mom all afternoon. Feeling fine. Forgot to take the tyle.nol on time, which is always a good sign. I felt pretty fuzzy all day, anesthesia-head, but if you don't have anything to do but critique Candace Olsen's latest room design, it's not a big deal.

Flew home Thursday. Easy flight.

I took it fairly easy on Friday, and the spotting seemed to be going away. In the evening I was unloading the dish washer and felt a little jab, a tug in the lower tummy area.

Uh-oh. Since then I've had a bit more spotting, and a very small bit of cramping. I'm taking it easy today, hopefully it will go away. It's not something I've mentioned here, but I may have a clotting disorder where I don't maintain clots well. It is affected by estrogen hormone levels, so up to now in the IF journey, high estrogen has made this a moot point. But now that I'm on the depot loopyron, my estrogen is low. Which may or may not make me un-clot. So I'm keeping a very close eye on my bleeding. I don't want to end up in the ED this weekend.

That's it. I'm beginning to think about the FET prep. That won't start for another month-ish. Still have another month of hot flashes and fun.

I'm looking forward to catching up on all of you today!

Update from my phone

Our computer is down (has been since the weekend) so I'm trying to be techie and update from my cell phone. Will this even work?

Anyway, I've been to the far-away clinic and back already this week. This was the smoothest trip there since all this began. Flights on time, mostly smooth, pretty painless travel all around. My mom met me out there, and that was smooth too.

Surgery was Wednesday, and was smooth too. Much easier, less painful than an ER. I've had almost no pain, barely even needed Tyle.nol. Minor spotting continues, but seems to be tapering off.

It is sort of a pain to type this on my cell, so a more detailed update when I'm back online for real.

Hope you all are doing well - I miss you guys!

I'm still here

Yeah, not much to post on these days. Still having the loopyron hot flashes, although they seem less frequent and less intense. Either I'm getting used to them (nah) or I'm about due for my next shot (yeah, next week).

Other than that, not much to report. Surgery is next week, and I'm getting a little nervous, but not overwhelmingly so yet. Check me next week for that!

Been hanging out with friends and Mr.P. We went to a great dinner party at a friend's on Friday night. It was so much fun, great conversation, raucous laughter, just good for your soul fun. Mr. P and I were lazy the rest of the weekend, which was nice, and good for the soul, too.

So that's it. I'm keeping up with all of you, and reading all my bloggy buds. Still here commenting, maybe not as much posting.