Final Blast Report

Ugh, I about drove myself crazy today waiting for the lab to call me. And my previous theory about the lab calling early with with good news is totally bunk (LC, you were right), because they didn't call until 4:30pm.

But it was pretty good news again - 5 made it to blast! Which means we are doing genetic testing! So we had 3 Day 5 blasts, with the following grades: 6AB, 4BB and 3BB. Then 2 Day 6: 5BA and another 3BB.

Clearly I make a lot of 3BB blasts. But as I've seen with Chilly Willy and Frozen Frannie, it doesn't mean they are abnormal, just cause they are not the most pretty. So I'm not gonna get too worked up about the fact that only one blast had the ICM graded A (for those that are less than familiar with blast grading, here's a great resource page). No, I feel really good about the 5 blasts. I mean - wow - it is wayyy more blasts than I've ever made before in a cycle. Which was 1. So, yeah, I'm happy. Mr. P looked seriously relieved. And we had made a bet on how many blasts we'd end up with (yes, this is what we've come to, betting on the existence of our future children). He took more than 5, I took less (I really am a pessimist). But 5 on the nose - a push. I guess we both win!

So - what's next, you ask? Well, more fun, let me tell you. Fun in the form of medically-induced menopause! Whoo-hoo, nothing says party like a really good hot flash. I have to take 2 months of depot Looopy-ron to treat this beta-3 integrin deficiency in my lining. And in March, I have to have my fibroid removed. Yeah, I decided to just get it done. So back to the far away clinic for a few days. Then, after all of that crapola, I can begin prep for my FET. That should begin the end of March/early April.

It can't just be simple, can it?

But hey - it is forward motion. I like forward.

Great Day 3 report

Ok, before the great news, I have a new theory about the lab at the far away clinic. They call you early with good news, and they call you later with bad news. I hadn't even thought about them calling me today, and the phone rings.

Which now means good news. On Day 3, all 10 are still kicking! I cannot believe it!

The embryologist (some woman, and not my favorite one there, John) that called is like "And they all look really good." Uh, ok, that is not descriptive enough for me, 4-time IVF veteran and Dr. Google College of RE degree holder. So she says, "They all are still alive and are of good quality." I scoff, and say, "I'm going to need more than that. What are the cell counts, what are the grades?" She pauses, then says , "Oh, ok. Well, let me look..."

Sigh. Don't treat me like an idiot.

Anywho, she counts (yes, out loud) "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8...Eight are 8-celled. Six of those are grade 4, the highest quality. Then one is 10-celled, also grade 4. And one is 6-celled, more fragmentation in that one." I'm so happy about having eight 8-celled embies, I don't even press her to give me grades on the 2 remaining 8-cells or the 6-cell.

And just to give you perspective on how much better this is than any other cycle we've done, check this out:

IVF #1: 4 fertilized. D3 transfer of 2 8-celled embies. The only 2 that are 8-celled. Other 2 embies are 6-celled, don't live to blast stage.

IVF #2: 8 fertilized. D3 transfer of 2 8-celled embies. Leaves 1 other 8-celled, 1 10-celled, 2 6-celled. One of the 6-celled makes it to blast, is frozen aka Chilly Willy (a genetically normal 3BB).

IVF #3: 5 fertilized. Freeze-all cycle, push to blast. On Day 3, 2 8-celled embies, 2 10-celled, and a 6-celled. One of the 8-celled makes it to blast, is frozen aka Frozen Frannie (also a genetically normal 3BB).

IVF #4 (this cycle): 10 fertilized. On D3, eight 8-celled, a 10-cell and 1 6-cell.

It is looking good.

I also mentioned that we were not sure if we were going to do the MA genetic testing on this round. We debated it back and forth, and came up with an "if-then" that took into account how I'd done on previous cycles and, well...money. On previous cycles, I'd never gotten more than one blast, and it seemed like the blasts that could survive to that stage were genetically normal. Granted, the n is small, but it was an interesting coincidence. And financially, its $5000 to do the genetic testing again - none covered or reimbursed by insurance. Ouch. So after lots of back and forth with the genetic counselor, we came up with the following, extremely optimistic, tempting the fates, best-case-scenario plan:

Scenario 1: If we get 2 or fewer blasts (which we thought most likely, given past performance), then we would not do genetic testing. We figured that we would transfer one of the already frozen genetically normal blasts in the spring, hopefully get pregnant, and transfer the second genetically normal frozen blast 6-8 months after the first was born. Then, optimistically, 6 months after that one is born, we would transfer whatever was left (1 or 2 untested blasts). Maybe in total have 2 kids, maybe 3. Or 4. Let the fates decide. Because 2-4 kids is my ideal. 3 is perfect.

Scenario 2: If we get 3 or more blasts, then cough up the cash and send them for genetic testing. That way we can figure out which are the good ones to transfer, and still keep with the family planning ideals of 3 kids. Doing SETs with all.

So going into this, I was certain we'd be going with scenario 1. Now, I'm not so sure. Better make sure we have space cleared on a credit card. Gulp.

Fert Report

Double digits, baby!

Of the 14 retrieved, 11 were mature. And 10 fertilized normally.

Most ever fertilized for me. I am over-the-moon happy. Now, I know we are far from out of the woods, but this is has been so different than I feared it would be just a week ago. Just goes to show you, IF is a roller coaster, and there is not rhyme or reason to any of it. I just hope the up swing keeps up for a awhile longer.

Stay tuned for Tuesday, the fateful Day 3 report. I'll also update y'all about if we will do genetic testing this round - it's still up in the air.

Quick update

ER went well yesterday - we got 14 eggs! A personal best.

I'm pretty sore this morning, but better than I felt yesterday. I slept 11 hours last night, and am planning on taking it easy again today. Mr. P is here, which has been so nice. We fly home together tomorrow.

Fert report later today. Keep your fingers crossed.

Ode to Pho

Oh, pho, how I love you. You are beefy and anise-y and noodle-y. You warm me and make me feel like the world makes sense again. I can customise you in so many ways, with all the fresh green basil I want, a squirt of lime here, a dash of sambal there. The crunch of sprout, the squish of noodle, the chew of beef strip. You are all things, the healer of all ails, good for any meal of the day.

I love you very much pho.


Oh, and yeah, the tummy bug has lessened, and I had a yummy bowl of pho today for lunch. Now I am certainly cured. I am convinced pho should be prescribed to everyone. The world would be a happier place, I'm sure.

And, in non-pho related news, I am triggering tonight! After my monitoring visit this morning, I was not thinking it would happen. I had about 8-9 over 16mm on the right, largest measured at 19mm. And 4 bigger than 16mm on the left. But here's what I'm thinking - there is a wide discrepancy between u/s techs. The one I had today was certainly on the conservative side, I could even see her cheating me a mm here and there. When my bloodwork came back at e2 = 2869 (!) they said trigger. Which I agree with. Can you believe, estradiol increased over 1000 in a day? Yeah, I'd say I'm ready.

So at 8:30am on Saturday, I'll be under the knife, or needle, or vacuum, or whatever the hell they use to get those eggs. And most fancy of all, Dr. Famous is on this weekend, so he'll actually be doing my ER. Fancy.

C'mon eggs, let's all be grown ups here! Let's be mature!

Queasy-peasy

Things are still progressing well. My right ovary seems to be fully on the program now, with about 9 measurable follies over 10mm, with about 6 between 15-18mm. Those are growing at the expected pace of 1mm/day. The left ovary is clearly riding on the short bus, it has about 5 measurable follies over 10mm, but only 2 at 14-15mm. And it is growing at about half the pace of what's expected. So I'm hoping to trigger tomorrow (please!) and we'll have more good righties, and less lefties. Last time I was concerned they pushed me an extra day in hopes of getting the slow pokes to catch up, and I think I had some over-mature follies. So if the right reaches decent size tomorrow, I'm ready for a Saturday ER. E2 was at 1838 today, so that is also progressing well.

But all is not sunshine and butterflies around here. Starting late yesterday afternoon, I started feeling queasy. I made dinner (lots of protein and veggies, as I've been having for the last week) but I could barely eat it, it made me gag. Into the trash. Then the back end kicked in, and I've had the "runs" since last night. Ugh, bad, gut-spasm "runs". The nurse did not seem concerned today, just to keep my liquids up. Given my E2 is not that high, it couldn't be OHSS, so it's likely a little bug I picked up at the movie theater (I saw "Nine" yesterday, which was shiny but sorta lame). All I've had today was weak chamomile tea with honey, a few bites of plain white rice and some cran-grape juice mixed with water. Blech, I got the serious queasies going on.

But I can live through it, only a few more days here. A few more days til Mr. P can take care of me, a few more days of this cycle. I'm in the home stretch, and given how this time last week I was not even sure I'd make it to ER, I am happy to be here now. Queasy and all.

The worst is over (I hope)

I think Saturday was the worst of it. Starting Sunday, I woke up in a better mood. I took myself to the outlet mall to walk around and buy a few things. And best of all, I started to feel the ovary ache by afternoon.

This morning I had my monitoring appointment, and it went much better. We saw about 5 measurable follies on each side, right maybe a bit bigger than the left, with the largest at 14mm. So ranging in size from 9 to 14mm. I was relieved to see something measurable at all, and this was better than I hoped. Talking to the nurse, we estimated my ER would be this weekend sometime. If I were a betting girl, I'd go with Sunday. Now mind you, I was supposed to trigger tonight for ER Wednesday. So way behind, but at least not canceled. Then they took blood, and sent me on my way.

I went for an acupuncture appointment, which was so great. I swear, I love me some acupuncture. She did the electro-acupuncture on me, to really wake those ovaries up. It was so relaxing, helped me get some whiffs of zen again. I'm going again later in the week.

Then, the nurse called with my E2 - 1050! I was expecting like 800-900, after the 550 on Saturday. What a great sign! Finally, things moving in the right direction. It's like I'm back to my normal stim self, just 5 days behind. It makes me wonder, could the Sai.zen have suppressed me? After stopping that stuff, my body began to respond to the meds. Who knows, but I think it is an odd coincidence.

So I'm here for almost another week, but at least I have a chance to have a somewhat decent ER. Mr. P is coming Friday, which will be nice. I sure do miss him and my cat. But I am feeling better all around, so I can make it through another few days. I think being here without seeing progress really bummed me out. But now that things are looking up, I'm doing better. Let's keep it going, ovaries!!

Clash of the Titans

There is war going on around here. It's a pretty good match up, the adversaries are both strong, wily and cunning.

It's Zen versus FreakOut.

And today, FreakOut seems to be winning.

I went for my monitoring again this morning, and it is still really slow. Biggest is only 11-ish. Barely any growth from yesterday. Maybe 1mm for some. Some others, nothing much.

As I met with the nurse to discuss the ultrasound, I started to cry. I asked her if I would be canceled, and she seemed to think no. But she seemed less than certain, so she consulted with the doc who was there that day (Dr. G for those in the know). He also said no canceling yet. All I could think and say was "This is going so badly." The nurse agreed it was a much slower response than last time, but again reminded me that doesn't mean bad. I'm not so convinced.

My E2 has also been really poop, Wednesday it was 101, Friday 300-something, and today 550-ish. So it is going up, but man, how low is that?? I was in the 900s on my first monitoring appointment last cycle. WTF? I'm still thinking this is bad.

So they are giving me tomorrow off from monitoring, keeping my stims high, and I'm also starting Cetro.tide. For those of you that have done this antagonist protocol, does it matter when I take the Cetro.tide? I know it has to be at the same time each day, but does it matter when?

I feel on the verge of tears all the time, and hell - I know it can't be the hormones, 'cause they are low says my bloodwork. I just can't believe how badly this is going. So FreakOut is winning today, Zen has left the building it seems. Mr. P is not around either, he is at a bachelor party this weekend (yeah, for the friends that got whoopsie-pregnant at age 40 before the wedding, Mr. P is the best man in this wedding).

Sigh, I miss Zen.

Molasses in January

SSSSSSlllllllooooooooow. So slow. It is January, and my ovaries are made of molasses.

The monitoring appointment this morning was no surprise, it is still very slow going. About 8 measurable follies, but the largest is only 10mm. Woof. They are growing, but so so slowly.

I'm trying very hard not to freak out, and the nurses keep telling me it is not a bad thing that they are slowly growing. But I am feeling anxious. I have never had such a slow response, and this is supposed to be the "big guns" protocol. What the hell is wrong with my ovaries? Wake up, down there! Get with the program! I have another monitoring appointment tomorrow, so we'll see how they are doing then.

I made an acupuncture appointment for Monday, more for the relaxation than anything else. Yes, I find acupuncture very relaxing, and I'm hoping by then I will feel more bloated, so it will help with that too. God, how sad is it that I am wishing so much to feel bloated and yucky. But at least then I would know they ovaries are working.

I'm also keeping myself entertained by going to the movies. Today I saw "It's Complicated" with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. It was amusing, no great thing, but a good way to pass a few hours. Tomorrow it will be "Up in the Air" with my long-time boyfriend George Clooney. I'm looking forward to our date. I'm also sampling different theaters in the area, just to mix it up a bit.

So that's it. Slowly moving, trying not to freak, hanging on to the zen with my fingertips.

Turtle-like

Well, things are moving slowly. I had lots of little follies on the left, and some on the right, but none over 7mm. Small. Not sure what happened to the lead follie from Saturday, but we didn't see it today. They upped my stims for the next 2 days, and I have another check on Friday morning.

I'm not surprised, because I feel fine still, the ovaries have not even begun to ache. And I realized this was the earliest I've been monitored, today is stim day 4. I think in past cycles I was first monitored on stim day 6. So, again, not surprised that they are still small.

But, on the other hand, I'm surprised that, without any suppression like Loopyron, I am still moving slowly. I thought I'd be moving too fast, not slowly. Hmmm...

But I guess it is good that they appear to be all the same size, no one follie is leading by a lot. That is the goal here, lots of evenly developed, good quality eggs. So I'll take it, see the positive and move forward.

And thanks for all the well-wishes, everyone. It really buoys me up, makes me smile, and keeps me going. Thank you all for all the growing vibes, keep 'em coming!

I'm far away and good

I arrived today in the far away city, and it is lovely weather. Sunny and in the 50s, which feels like bikini weather compared to home. I didn't even need a coat! Very good stuff. My flight was smooth, arrived early, and security didn't make too much of a fuss over the gazillions of vials, syringes and alcohol wipes I had in my carry on. More good stuff. I'm in the same hotel as last time I was here in September, actually in the room right next door to the one I had been in. It is like a mirror opposite of that one. Bizzarro room, if you will. But somehow nicer. Which again is pretty good.

After I arrived, I went to the drug store, because I didn't have toothpaste at home to bring (without leaving Mr. P high and dry). I got some other sundries, and the total came to $7.77. The checkout lady said, "Oooh, that's good luck!" More good coming my way.

Tomorrow is my first monitoring appointment. I'm hoping the good streak continues. I'm feeling good physically, the ovary ache hasn't started yet. I'm also keeping my zen, not obsessing too much and rolling with it. Granted if tomorrow it all falls apart, I will fully freak out, but for now, I'm feeling really....good.

The All-Clear

Monitoring appointment went smoothly yesterday. Lots of antral follies on my likes-to-hide left ovary, and less on the right. There already seemed to be a lead follie on the right, so it will likely get sacrificed to the grows-too-big gods.

I thought the EPP was supposed to stop a lead follie from developing, but I guess my right ovary did not get that memo. I mean, she's only try to do her predestined job, she doesn't know I'm about to whack her with stims. Poor girl.

Just did my first menop.ur shot, its like riding a bike, these shots. Right back on the wagon for me.

Call off the hunt!

Ok, maybe my freak out yesterday was a bit premature. You guessed it - AF arrived this afternoon. I always think that woman is gonna mess with me, and more times than not, she is punctual and accommodating. I'm sorry, Auntie. I did not mean to talk smack about you...again.

Whew!

So I think the monitoring appointment is on for tomorrow, and barring any ginormous cysts, I am good to go. Stims would start Sunday. I would fly out Tuesday. ER sometime the week of the 18th. Fast, right?

Yet another AF watch

I guess this is the first AF Watch 2010, so that makes it new, right?

Right? Yeah, maybe not so much. I hate waiting for that damn woman.

So allegedly, I'm supposed to get my visitor today. I don't feel at all like she is coming. I usually spot a few days ahead of time, and no spotting yet. I feel totally normal, well as normal as I get on 2 Estr.ace pills a day. Will taking Estr.ace delay things??

This could seriously mess up my whole calendar, the monitoring appointment I'm supposed to go to locally on Saturday, my travel plans. Argh.

So I ask you, Internetz: Anyone been on this estrogen priming protocol, and got AF on time, late, at all? I would love to hear any or all experiences.

UPDATED to add: Hey, wait a minute! It is only CD 26 for me. What are they thinking that I'll get AF today? Yeah, I did have a positive OPK on CD12, but still. That means ovulation on CD13-14. I'm a 28-29 day kind of girl. Sigh, did the nurse mess this up?

Cetr.otide is Poop.

Yeah, I'm not a fan. I get a huge welt at the injection site and it sort of burns/itches for like an hour after. It all fades away a few hours later, but still. Not fun.

And it is one of those powder-you-have-to-mix-yourself sort of med, and it seems like it takes forever to dissolve. And of course you can't shake it to speed it up, oh no, then you get air bubbles.

And it has to be refrigerated, which is just a small hassle, but given everything else, it has become a very heavy straw, and my back is bending.

Me no likey.

The Last Hurrah

What a weekend! A weekend that began on Thursday, for New Year's Eve. The party I hosted was a success, fun time had by all. 14 friends, lots of meatballs, and even more champers. I got to bed about 2:45am.

New Year's Day my brother and SIL hosted an open house, which was nice. I'll admit, I was feeling a tad fragile, so just lots of water for me. They made a Turducken, which was actually quite good. It seemed like mostly Tur, not much Duck, and seriously - no hen. But it was tasty and entertaining all at the same time!

Then to add insult to my self-inflicted injury, we had a girls' night on Saturday. Drinks, fancy dinner and more drinks. Lots of laughs. Again, I was in bed by about 2:30am. Yikes.

It was my last hurrah, as Sunday began the first of my medications for the new cycle. I began the Estr.ace pills Sunday. Not sure if I'm noticing any side effects yet, 3 pills in, but I slept great last night. But maybe that was multiple 2:30am nights too. I have to go do my first injection of the cycle here in a few minutes. Cetr.otide - another new med for me. Wish me luck.

I finalized all travel plans for the far away clinic - I can't believe I'm there next week. This protocol is fast! I'm so used to being on loopyron or BCPs for sort of the "cycle build-up" phase, and this protocol has none of that. Pills and shots right away, stims within a week of beginning the whole thing. Fast! I keep thinking I have another week, this doesn't start yet - but here it is!