XOXO

Note: This is a post that my still-fighting-the-good-fight IF sisters may want to skip. I would have, I totally get it.

I think the Critter Girl is learning to give hugs. And slobbery wet kisses.

Oooooh boy, it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am her mom, and she loves me.

I know, I know...I've been her mom for awhile now. I know this. And I know she loves me, and I love her more than anything I've ever known.

But when she tries to wrap her Popeye arms around my neck and shoulders, and nuzzles into my neck or chest and holds on tight...whew! It truly takes my breath away. And it hits me like nothing so far has - she is mine, my daughter, my little girl. I'm her mom.

Wow. Just wow.

I never knew such a feeling. Such love that it makes you cry. Not like this. It's overwhelming (I may have cried a tear when she hugged me once) and wonderful and....just breath-taking.

It has taken me 6 months to wipe away these last IF scars, to truly open my heart all the way. That sounds bad, like I didn't love her before - which is not true, not what I mean. I don't know how to really explain it...to find the right words. I just feel more open than I have in a very long while. Healed. Not forgotten, but healed.

Her hugs, her slobbery kisses on my cheek, they have changed me for good, for the good, and forever.

Library Paste, revisited

As I alluded to at the end of the last post, butter makes things better. Butter and cinnamon make them even better than better.

The Critter loves her CoW, and honestly, so do I. Most days that she eats it, I eat it with her. I do add a touch of salt to mine, but otherwise we're eating the same yummy, comforting CoW.

So I thought, if butter and cinnamon can make CoW better, what about those baby cereals that I have sitting around, waiting to be used. As you may recall, I've likened these made-for-baby cereals to library paste, and I stand by that claim.

But if you doctor it up with some butter and a pinch or two of fresh cinnamon, well, they are not too bad. Admittedly, I've only tried this with the oatmeal cereal so far. But it was edible in my opinion (and yes, I try everything the Critter eats) and she really liked it too. So we can add another food to her list, and it is easier and faster to prepare than the CoW.

Spinach went so-so. She ate it mixed with other things, but it backed her up some - maybe the iron? Who knows. This week we are trying green beans. I've pretty much lost my fear of major allergic reactions with her, she has done well with wheat, a touch of dairy (butter) and meat. More dairy, like yogurt might be on our horizon.

Teething Bites

Oooooooh boy! Teething...its rough. Poor little Critter Girl, she is having a tough go of it. We've been watching this lump on her lower gum for months now, and she has been drooly, chewy little girl. But otherwise happy.

In the last week, things have turned from happy to not so much. Cranky, confused, profusely drooly. She will have moments of happy then suddenly she's crying. Very out of character for her.

And then we saw it. The lump on her gums now has a pearly white line - the tooth just beneath the gum. So close, but so far away too.

It has been days. Every day I expect to see that tooth above the gum line, and it does seem to get more clear every day. It feels hard and sharp when we put our finger on it or she chomps on our fingers. But it is still not fully broken through. Ouchy ouch ouch. It is taking it's sweet, painful time.

Poor little girl. And her poor little gums.

P.S. - Cream of wheat (COW) is good. COW with butter is even better. COW with butter and cinnamon is the bestest thing ever! Just so you know...

Spinach and Farina

I have made progress in meeting some other moms. I found a group online, through Meetup.com that seems ok. I may try to meet 3 other moms at a local farmers market next week, when it is not so damn hot. I'll keep y'all posted...

New foods for this week are spinach and farina aka cream of wheat. I'm not so sure how any of this is gonna go. The spinach was not the sweeter baby spinach (the grocery didn't have any - grrr) so its just normal, big-leaf spinach. I washed it really well, then just put the still-wet-from-washing spinach in a hot, dry fry pan til it wilted. Then into the food processor with some of the leftover cooking liquid, and ta-da! It is a beautiful dark green, but a touch bitter. Yummy for mom, I'm not sure what the Critter will think. I think we'll go 1 part spinach and 3 parts apple/pear/sweet tater. And hope for the best.

And farina! I'm excited to see if she will eat this - given her dislike for the baby cereals thus far. I got just normal-people farina (also know as cream of wheat - but in my Italian upbringing world, it is always farina) made by Bob's Red Mill. Yum. We'll make enough for the both of us and eat it together for lunch today. I hope she likes it.

Other than that, things are going well over here. It's hot as hell, which has put a damper on our outdoor time. Hopefully it will cool back down by the weekend, fingers crossed. The Critter is working on sitting up on her own. She is still tippy turtle, but she is getting better. She is also beginning to show some stranger anxiety, it is not all the time, but sometimes she clings to me for dear life when presented with new people. Especially new, loud, in-her-face people. I cling to her too with those people, lol.

Meeting Moms

Chicken went pretty well. I think I need to puree it longer in the processor, it was a little too chunky. The Critter ate it, but she also pushed more out too. I mixed it with apples and it was really tasty. I thought so at least!

I've been reading in other people's blogs recently about the need for connecting with other moms, and I've been feeling this too. Being a SAHM, I spend the majority of my day with the Critter, which is much fun, but not very intellectually stimulating. While she is a chatty girl, my conversations with her are pretty basic, mostly saying "Mamamama" or blowing raspberries. Fun, but not too challenging, ya know?

In our daily walks, we see many other strollers, but it seems like most of the kids are older and being pushed by nannies. There are a lot of nannies around here. And we're all walking, so what would I do anyway - chase after someone to introduce myself?

So I've begun researching mommy groups in my area. I'm a bit wary of this, as you all well know, I'm not a girl's girl. Never have been. I'm not generally comfortable in large groups of women. But I feel the need for connection these days, so maybe it will be better. I dunno.

How else to connect with others in the SAHM world? How have you met new people in your life?

Broccoli and chicken

The hangover has ceased, and I'm back to normal. Well, as normal as I get. :)

The Critter food diaries continue, and this week will be broccoli. And chicken too! She's already had broccoli a few times, and it went well. I mixed it with sweet taters and/or apples, so it tasted less vegetal, and she liked it. Gobbled it down in fact.

At our peds visit last week, the doc encouraged us to begin upping the amount of food per feeding, and begin to add feedings. We had been doing 2-3 oz once a day. Now she is taking 4 oz twice a day. We'll work up to 3 feedings a day.

We'll begin adding protein this week too - chicken breast! I poached a chicken breast in water, then into the food processor with some of the poaching liquid, and viola! I plan to mix it with apples. I'll let you know how it goes.

I was saying to Mr. P last night, I'm really liking the ice cube tray food - I can serve her more like a real meal, with different flavors as opposed to opening a jar of one thing. Each cube is 1 oz, so she can have mixes, which I do a lot of, or 2 courses - veg then fruit dessert.

I'll let you know how chicken goes.

Self-inflicted ouch

My good friend got married this weekend, and it was a par-tay. Fun fun fun and I finally had my drink, a drink I have not had in...geez, like 18, 20 months? The most delicious of all drinks: Jack and Coke. Because of the caffeine in the Coke, I have not had this since giving up caffeine for my ODWU at the far-away clinic. Which was in August 2009. And then of course, no alcohol with being pregnant and BFing. Long long time.

And boy oh boy, was it tasty. So very tasty that I had several. Mmmmmmm!

But Sunday morning came awfully early. And loudly. I had already planned for Mr. P to get up with the Critter, so I could sleep in. But ouch. Its been a long long time since I felt so rough. Apparently alcohol has not changed in the last 18 months, and drinking multiple Jack-n-Cokes will still give you a hangover. Ouch.

Ah well, it was worth it. But I am not 22 anymore (hell, I'm not even 32 anymore!) and this is not something I can do often. But it was fun while it lasted!!

6 months!

My sweet Critter Girl, you are 6 months old today. I just cannot believe I've only known you 6 months, and I'm amazed how much you've changed my life in that short amount of time.

You are now 15 lbs, 5 oz and 25.5 inches long. Both at the 50th percentile, so you are proportional, says the doctor. Your head though is huge, in the 75-90th percentile. Giant noggin for those big brains I guess!

The biggest achievement of the last month is food! Mommy's been making you all sorts of Deliciousness, and you have become a very good eater. You totally get the whole eating from a spoon thing now, and eagerly await your next bite. Your favorites are nanas and pears, but you'll never turn down a pea/sweet tater mash.

You are also beginning to sit up on your own. You can tripod yourself and have even sat up while holding a toy for several seconds before toppling to your side. You like to practice this new skill, and I envision you crawling in the coming months.

You are also learning how to move all around your crib. Daddy and I have found you at all sorts of odd angles and positions on your crib these days. And we've seen you sleeping on your side a few times, which is super-cute.

Still no teeth! You still chew on your teethers like they are gonna disappear if you don't, but no teeth to show for all that work. We have to keep bibs on you 24/7 so we don't all drown in all the drool. Maybe this month they will arrive? Who knows at this point.

This is you first half-birthday, which will become an important and celebrated event in future years. As someone who has her real birthday so close to Xmas, you need a day far from the holidays that is your own. I look forward to making cookies with you on future half-birthdays, because cookies are what you eat on half-birthdays. This year though, no cookies for you, so just know that Daddy and I love you very much.

Happy first Half-birthday, my sweet Critter Girl!

Girl knows her Daddy, part 2 (and pears)

A rough 24 hours around here. Yawn.

Mr. P went out of town in the wee hours yesterday morning, before the Critter woke up. He comes back late tonight, after the Critter goes to bed. So in her world 2 days without Daddy.

And she is none too happy about it, let me tell you.

How does she know?? Last night she cried like I've never seen before. She was shaking so hard, so beet red, face so scrunched up, I thought she would implode. And this went on-and-off (but mostly on) until 11:30pm. She was put down at 7pm. OMG, this has NEVER happened before. It's stressful to listen to a wailing baby. And of course she was up at her usual 6:45am. Yawn.

Daddy is a huge part of her going-to-bed routine. And even if he doesn't put her to bed, as long as she sees him that day, things seem to be ok. But no Daddy, things no good. Ugh.

On a happier note, she LOVES pears. I peeled and cored some very ripe pears, put them in a saucepan with a tiny bit of water (although I think they were juicy enough that they didn't even need the water) for 4-ish minutes, then whirred them in the processor. I added too much of the cooking liquid, so it was a little thinner than I would have liked, but the Critter Girl did not mind. She slurped those things down like there was no tomorrow. On par with her love for nanas, if not higher. LOVE. And I think they will play nice with other things, like apples or sweet taters. So add another food to the list of Critter yumminess.

Now, off to rest my eyes. Yawn.

The Suburbs

We had a very nice weekend. No plans made it so we could kind of go with the flow, do what we wanted when the mood struck. We met my MIL and SIL for breakfast on Saturday so they could get their Critter fix. We took walks, cooked dinners. On Monday, we went to the 'burbs to visit some friends, although the wife, who I really was looking forward to seeing (and is an MD) was on call and stuck at the hospital all day. But we still had fun at their house, playing with their 2 boys and walking around their neighborhood.

And we began looking at some houses out there. Yes, we are thinking very seriously about leaving the city, and moving to the 'burbs. We've been thinking about it for awhile, and we don't plan to seriously consider doing it until next spring/summer, but I think the decision has been made.

I like living in the city, but when you add a Critter to the mix, it becomes increasingly expensive. Sure, it's fine now...but when she starts school? Expensive. And our 2-bed townhouse, which has been good for us, is beginning to feel claustrophobic. And to move to something bigger in the city? Super-expensive. And if we are lucky enough to have Critter sibling, things get ultra-super-expensive.

I like the idea of the Critter Girl running in grass, rather than on sidewalks and in parking lots or small playgrounds. I grew up in the burbs (not here, but still a suburb of another city) and it was nice. To be able to ride bikes, play with neighborhood friends, just run around. And Mr. P, he grew up in the city, a very urban environment. And he does not have fond memories of that. He was mugged a few times as a teen - really robbed for his Walkman or wallet. But still. He likes the idea of the Critter having a more peaceful location to grow up.

So predictably, we will have kid(s) and move to the burbs. As a girl who has lived in various cities for the last 17 years, and with a husband who has never lived outside a city, this is a big deal. But I think we're ready.

Apples

I gave up on avocado. I know I'm supposed to introduce new foods several times before giving up, but...well avocados are gross. See? This is how a palate is cultivated, parents picking and choosing what kids are exposed to. So it is probably not wise of me to stop avocados, but....they're just so yucky! Very adult of me, I know.

Onward and upward to apples!

I bought 4 Gala apples, peeled, cored and chopped them up. Into the saucepan with a few tablespoons of water, and covered them. Boiled them for a few minutes, then into the food processor with some of the cooking water. Wizz, wizz, wizz, and presto! Apple puree! Froze in my favorite ice cube trays, saving 2 oz for that evening's meal.

I chose not to add cinnamon at this point, just for the purity of the food trial. But I plan to add it in the future, it is allegedly very good for you (and tasty too!).

The Critter was surprised by apples. She was unsure if she liked them or not. She would eat some, then say no (which consists of slamming her mouth shut and blowing raspberries at me), then open wide again. When it was all said and done, she ate about 1.5 oz of the 2 I had prepared. So not bad. We'll try again today.

We are planning a quiet weekend at home. Mr. P is working from home today, and we'll maybe go to the 'burbs to visit some friends Monday. Other than that, no solid plans. Which is nice.

Hope you all have a safe and happy 4th of July (and non-USAers, a happy weekend!).