blechs

I was hit by an awful tummy bug last Thursday. It was so weird, it came so fast. I was sort of vaguely queasy all day, but functional. Then BAM! Within half an hour, I was sick sick sick. I had to call my MIL to come care for the Critter, I was scared I'd puke on her and/or pass out. Not good, either way. I actually got my neighbor to come watch the Critter while we waited for my MIL to come over. Scary stuff.

And of course this all happened on the one night, the first night Mr. P was out of town for business in like 9 months. Figures.

I'm feeling much better now, and knock on wood and don't jinx me blog, no one else got the blechs. Please, don't let anyone else get it.

I hate that SAHM-job doesn't have a decent sick day policy. I could have used a day off.

Sippy cup woes

I must have jinxed myself. A few posts ago, saying that since the Critter liked her sippy cups full of water, she'd have no problem drinking milk from them. Damn haven't I learned anything?? Write it on the blog, and the opposite will come true.

Apparently drinking milk from sippy cups is terrible. Worse than terrible. Intolerable.

I started with her mid-day bottle. I offered her milk at the same time, same place, just in sippy cup form. She took a sip, let it dribble out of her mouth and refused any more. I didn't push it, and offered her a snack instead. A snack of her favorite cheese crackers and water. Which she happily ate and drank, while ignoring the milk. Milk down the drain.

Today I replaced her morning bottle, again with sippy. Same place, same mommy cuddles, same watching the digital picture frame show pictures of babies. She took one look at the sippy and just started bawling. Real tears and everything. So we went downstairs and she ate a big breakfast of oatmeal and blueberries instead. And all was well, other than the ounces of milk down the drain again. Oh, and when I offered her water out of an identical sippy, she happily drank that.

What's up with that? Why is water ok, and milk total poo? Should I be concerned that she isn't ingesting much milk at all? Or should it be ok since she is a good eater and getting her calories elsewhere?

What say you, oh wise interwebbies?

I've calmed down

Ok, so I think I understand this TSH thing better now. Thank you so much for your comments, especially you endo experts (MTL!! Thanks!!) out there.

I guess this can happen after pregnancy, having hypothyroidism. Given all the other weird things that happened to my body with and after pregnancy (hello, pregnancy tumor on my face! remember that awful thing??) I shouldn't be surprised. And I have some risk factors for this too - my mother has auto-immune disease (RA) and my brother was diagnosed as hypothyroid a few years back and is on replacement hormones. Which I had initially forgotten about. So yeah, after I've calmed the f**k down, it is not so strange.

I saw my OB/GYN today for my annual check-up (and just as an aside, I still LOVE my OB. She is just the greatest) and we discussed the lab results. She didn't seem too concerned, but agreed to re-run the lab work, and gave me the name of her favorite endocrinologist to see if my TSH does come back as elevated. Given I'm trying to get pregnant again, she would rather I see a specialist than be managed by my internist who I haven't seen in years anyway.

So we have a plan, and now I just wait a day or two for the lab results. Small hurdle on the road to #2, what else would I expect? Smooth sailing? Ha! Who do I think I am? A fertile? Hahahahahahahahahaha....

What does this mean?

My nurse from the far away clinic left me a voice mail on Friday. Which of course my phone then got all wonky and would not let me listen to until mid-day Saturday - frickin' technology.

Anyway, she says that my TSH is elevated and that I should contact my primary care doc to get on some meds. Or if I'm already on meds, to have them adjusted.

Ummm...what?

What the hell does this mean? Is there something wrong with my thyroid? Why? Is this common?

I have a message in to talk to her directly, but I thought I'd put it out there to you, oh wise interwebbies. What does this mean?

And she's off!

The Critter Girl took her first steps on Monday! Well, she actually has taken a few "steps" before, but they were really more like shuffles or stumbles. But Monday, she took real, easily-identifiable-by-someone-other-than-her-mother-as-steps steps!

Now, don't get me wrong. She closely resembles a drunken sailor at Fleet Week at 2 am coming out of the strip club, stumbling and face-planting all over the place. But she did mange like 7 or 8 steps in a row, across the room on her own power before she bit it.

She is getting much better at falling too, which is a relief. Much faster up the learning curve this time, compared to when she learned to pull up and stand.

We have a walker, people. Lace up those running shoes!

Smooth sailing

I'm already back, what a fast trip. And thankfully, a very smooth one.

I don't think I can fully describe what a different place the far away clinic feels like this time around. It was such a...not scary...how about emotion-laden place before. So many highs and lows there. So many hormonally charged things happened there.

But this time, it was like going to a happy reunion. It was nice to see Dr. Famous, who was in classic Dr. Famous form. I did get him to laugh at my joke about making sure he put the next one in right side up after we discussed the Critter being breech. A little RE humor for him. It was nice to see my nurse again, she is just the same, like time stood still. Same receptionists, same chatty u/s tech and blood draw lady. And they were all happy to see me, a success story. Everyone asked about the Critter.

It was as smooth a visit as I could of hoped for. I had been nervous about fibroids again, wondering if they came back and if I'd need another removal before the FET. And there was something small showing up on u/s, but Dr. Famous didn't see anything in my ute cavity on hysteroscopy - so no surgery for me! Hooray! My c-section has healed well and should not be an issue either.

And that's another smooth thing - the hysteroscopy hurt pretty bad last time, I remember being in pain/crampy afterwards for a few days. This time - nothing! Seriously, I heard the machine turn on, but thought he hadn't inserted the tube yet - and then it was over. I couldn't believe it. Getting the damn spectulum in was the worst part. Again, that Dr. Famous, he sure does know his way around a cervix.

And irony of all irony - my AFC was maybe the best its ever been. 14 counted (with maybe a few more hanging around that were smaller), 7 on each side with a nice lead follie on the right. Sigh, why couldn't they be like that before?? Oh well, I'm done with you stupid ovaries. Too late for you.

So I am good to go. Mr. P and I need to decide if we are going to do a June or July transfer, and I get started on the evil Depot loopyron 3 months before the transfer date. That's it.

Smooth sailing for here on out. That is what I am counting on. What a difference 2 years and a sweet Critter Girls makes.

13 months

Maybe I'm not supposed to keep this up, this monthly documentation of the sweet Critter Girl's growth and changes. But I love reading back on the old entries, and remembering what she was like month-by-month, and its my blog, so I'm doing it! We'll see how long I can keep it up for...

13 months old today!! You look less like a baby and more like a kid, a toddler, every day. Your hair is really beginning to come in, and it looks like it might have some curl to it. You have Daddy's coloring for sure, light brown hair, rosy cheeks. And the curls are all Daddy too.

No walking yet, still. You are better and better at standing without holding on. You can clap, wave your arms, play with something in your hand, eat - all while standing. But if Mama asks you to come to her, you gently sit down and crawl on over. Not interested in trying to walk. Oh well, it will come. Like the rest of your development so far, you will do it when you are damn good and ready.

You have become so much more social. You smile, laugh, clap at everyone. You are no longer afraid of Grandpa, and happily sat in his lap the last time he visited. He was so happy! And you are suddenly the life of the party at your Crawlers class. You go up to all the other kids and parents and smile and laugh and clap and just spread your happiness around. You love the music and even "dance" which is so cute. You can play perfect patty cake with me, rolling and patting at exactly the right parts. And chasing! Oh how you love to be chased by me or Daddy! There is nothing more fun, or funnier to you, than being chased by us. And blowing kisses! And giving kisses! So very cute.

Your language continues to blossom. You understand so much, it sort of surprises me sometimes. And you love nothing more than to watch the digital picture frame so you can name everyone you see (Baby! Cat! Mama! Dada! Nana!). You say Mama-understood variations on some new words - cheese, blueberries, crackers, books, spoon.

You are off formula! It was a rocky transition onto milk, it turns out you have the same milk-fat intolerance as me. So after any trials of whole milk, lactose-free whole milk, both of which made your tummy sick, we finally found 2% works. And you seem to like it too. Next task, ditching the bottles. Given how much you like your sippy cups for water, I don't see a big issue here (knocking on wood).

You continue to grow and change and amaze me every day. I'm so lucky you are my sweet Critter Girl.

Already?

I have been just plugging along here, doing my every day stuff. Enoying the monotony of my life.

Things have snuck up on me. Out of nowhere, it seems. I leave tomorrow for the far away clinic. My FET one-day workup is Friday.

Already?? I'm shocked.

This process feels sooooooo different this time around. Clearly, I'm very interested in having a second child, but this time it just doesn't feel as....what? Imperative? Urgent? All-consuming? I'm not sure what word best describes it, none of those words fully capture it.

Maybe when I set foot in the far away clinic again, see the infamous waterfall in the lobby, chat with Dr. Famous - maybe then it will seem more real. But right now? I'm just thinking about the night away from home, sleeping without a monitor next to the bed (hooray!).

Already. It is here. Shocking.

another year

Today is my birthday. The 10th anniversary of of my 29th birthday. Yikes.

Usually I love my birthday, I'm happy to celebrate my special day. As my practical and maybe slightly morbid mother says, it is better than the alternative. Which is totally true.

But this year, for some reason, I'm just not feeling too celebratory about turning 39. It just sounds so...old. I don't feel 39.

Oh well, another year passes. Really, it was a very good year, and I am thankful for that. And the coming year, well, it could be even better. So rally, Pie. Be happy about 39. Embrace it.

Still doesn't sound convincing, does it? Eh, I'll keep trying.