Surprise!

37 weeks, 5 days. Yay!

We went to the OB on Tuesday, and all is well. My cervix is holding steady, I'm still at "1 and 1" which is great! We also did a non-stress test (NST) on the critter, which given my age, is standard at 37 weeks. Basically, they did the same monitoring we did when I was in the hospital for pre-term labor. 2 belly monitors, one to measure the critter's heartbeat, and one to measure contractions. We were on the monitor for about 30 minutes, and the time flew. I could listen to that critter all day long. She did very well, had the acceleration and decclerations in her heart rate like they wanted. So she is doing well, which is nice to know. We might actually make it to the scheduled c-section at 39 weeks. Amazing! (Wait, did I just jinx myself??)

So this is the final of my three posts reflecting on my experience with pregnancy. Today, the surprises.

1. Hair, hair, everywhere! OR How I became a hairy primate. Let me preface this by saying I'm not a hairy person normally. My body hair is light colored and fine. No hairy arms or legs or whatever here. But with pregnancy, I've become an ape. Mostly on my torso. My belly began sprouting dark hairs, fairly long, dark hairs (I know, ewwww!) around the 2nd tri. I've had to wax my belly twice so far, which thank the lord, does not hurt at all. But it is just odd. I hope this is not a lasting thing, and when the hormones even out, I'll go back to my normal non-hairy self.

2. Weird skin growths. I'll admit, I'm a sort of mole-y person. I have some Italian blood in me, and have olive skin. I have small freckle-like moles around my body. "Angel kisses" my great-aunt called them. But with pregnancy, it has changed. Existing moles have gotten much darker. But more concerning and strange, they have multiplied. I am literally covered with moles over my upper torso and back. They sprouted up out of nowhere, and they are everywhere!! Even on my now really dark-chocolate colored boobs. Moles on my boobs, what the hell?? I've also got so many skin tags. I can barely shave my underarms for all the skin tags there. I have been dreaming of when I finally get to visit my derm in a few months to get this craziness taken care of.

3. Crappy maternity clothing. Damn, considering so many women need maternity clothes, you'd think it'd be easier to find decent clothes. Not so much. Pretty much everything is only available online, or sold at Motherhood or Pea in the Pod stores. That's it, those are your options. Brutal. Either so expensive you can't justify spending $200 on jeans you'll only wear for 4 months (Pea in the Pod) or crappy quality that falls apart after 3 washes (Motherhood). The Gap has been my best option, but that's not saying much. I've had the most trouble with pants. I ended up wearing many of my non-maternity sweatpants or workout pants, worn below my belly. I'm just glad I don't have to dress up for work and can get away with workout wear most days. There is a huge market opportunity here. (And I know many of you have used ebay, but I just can't do used clothes. not for me.)

I pretty much expected the rest of the craziness, like the flatulence, the burping, the moistness down there. And like I've said, I've had it pretty easy. But if you see some pregnant, mole-covered simian wearing sweatpants, yeah, that's me.

The bad

37 weeks, 3 days. :)

In continuing my posts of the good, the bad and the surprising ugly of this pregnancy (check out yesterday for the good), today is the bad.

I will preface this post of the bad side of pregnancy by saying I don't think I had a very hard pregnancy. I wasn't sick for months on end, I did not have gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, or other major chronic medical issues. The critter appears healthy. So overall, I'm pretty happy with the way things have gone so far.

Buuuuut...well, some things have been sort of sucky. It's true, and I'm not gonna sugar-coat it for you. So here we go, my top 3 bad parts of being pregnant.

1. Bedrest. Ok, this isn't a pregnancy symptom, but I was only on bedrest because I was pregnant. So it counts. And truly, bedrest sucks big time. I was on bedrest twice during this pregnancy. First time, from 7 to 12-ish weeks, after bleeding from a sub-chorionic hemorrhage (SCH). Scary as all hell. Bedrest in the first tri was not as bad, I was so tired from first tri fatigue anyway, and so scared to lose the critter, I was happy to stay home. The second time was following pre-term labor, from 33 to 36 weeks. Third tri bedrest sucks big time. I was big and uncomfortable lying down, and had the nesting instinct in full force. But I could not do anything, and it was an exercise in frustration, crankiness and boredom. Hated it. And I will also note, I was on "modified" bedrest, so I was at home, able to get up to go to the bathroom, and shower. I do not know how women survive on strict bedrest, or who are hospitalized. I take my hat off to you, it must suck even more.

2. The heat I radiate. Hot damn, it has been a hot 9+ months. I was never a warm person before, I was always the one who needed an extra layer and a scarf. Not these days. We have kept the house cooler, and Mr. P will be in full flannel PJs, slippers, and a robe, while I'm in a thin t-shirt and shorts. It is not like being on the evil Depot Lupron, with hot flashes, this is more like a constant smolder. Being pregnant in the summer sucks, and of course, this summer and fall were one of the warmest on record here. Ugh. I miss feeling chilled. And don't get me started on the sweating. I'm like a greased pig.

3. Sleeping on my side. Or should I say, sleeping in weird positions. God, how I miss sleeping on my back. I began training myself to sleep on my side around 12 weeks, and got a huge u-shaped body pillow to support me. While I highly recommend a body pillow, it still sucks to sleep in an unnatural position. And sleeping on my side while pregnant hurts the hell out of my hips. I am woken up not only to pee 100 times a night, but also by my aching hips. If only I could sleep on my back for a bit, ease the pressure on my hips. It is one of the top things I often think of when I think "Only 2 more weeks til I can..."

So those are my top three bad things. Sure, I had some minor heartburn, but not too bad or frequent (the good side of a breech baby). Yeah, my feet and legs are swollen, but it doesn't really hurt or bother me much. My balance sucks, and getting up from a reclining or sitting position can be a very interesting endeavor, but it is sort of funny too. Mr. P calls me Tippy Turtle. So I can't really complain.

The surprising things to come....

My favorite things

No, this is not Op.rah, and no, you are not getting a bunch of free stuff. Stop screaming.

37 weeks, 2 days (!!!)

Yes, I have reached what's considered full-term. If you had asked me when I was in pre-term labor at 33 weeks if I'd still be pregnant today, I would have said "no way." Another big milestone, check it off the list! Hooray for my cervix!

I've been busy doing last-minute baby prep these days, with lots of help from Mr. P, as I'm huge and swollen (yup, within 3 days off bedrest, my feet are like over-stuffed sausages again) and just huge. But we got the mural decal thing up on the nursery wall, washed the last of the baby stuff, put things away in their proper places. We are ready, I think. Well, as ready as we can be.

I've found myself reflecting on being pregnant a lot recently. I remember a year ago (and pretty much for the last several years before that!) I wondered, "What will it be like? What will it feel like? How will my body respond?" And of course, given my open dislike and mistrust of those fertile-oriented pregnancy books, I did not really believe my experience would be like they told me it would be.

So, for posterity's sake (because this is my diary/journal, even though I share it with you lovely interweb folks) I wanted to write down my favorite pregnancy things, my least favorite, and the surprises. Over a few posts. So today, my top 3 favorites.

1. My belly. I have loved my growing belly. I loved it when it was a fat pooch, I loved it when it began to round out, and I still love it in its huge glory right now. I am one of those people, I am forever touching my belly. I just love it, am in awe of it, and so happy and grateful to have it. It is tangible proof of my body, for once, doing something it should. It amazes me, and I love it. Things may not be so good when there is no more baby in it and it is still huge, and with a c-section scar, but I love it now.

2. Movement. LOVE to feel the critter bouncing around. And I really love learning about her patterns. It is the first time I can get to know her, and I just love that. The connection, the bond, the knowledge of her. Movement is just so cool. She doesn't move a ton, not like some people describe at least, but she does have patterns of wiggles, punches and spastic jolts. Not flips though, she likes being breech!

3. Cravings. As someone who loves to eat, I have really been amazed and mostly enjoyed the food cravings I've had throughout the pregnancy. I did have the queasies during the first tri, but never threw up, never couldn't eat. And after that, I've had a pretty good appetite, and cravings for odd things. I think this has been the pregnancy of ground meat. Hamburgers, I've sampled every kind. Beefy-cheesy-mac, I've perfected my recipe. Lamb kofta, always on the menu. Dairy, of all kinds, has also been a favorite. I've always liked dairy, but now I'm obsessed with milk and yogurt and cheese. Yum! And spicy food - I can't get enough! I've never been a huge spicy food person, but now, it's hot sauce on everything. More peppers over here! Now we'll just have to see what kind of palette the critter has, given all the foods I've exposed her to so far.

So that's the top 3 pregnancy favorites, stay tuned for the not-so-favorites, and the surprises of pregnancy.

My extra 7 lbs

36 weeks, 4 days.

The extra 7 lbs, 5oz (give or take) I'm carrying around looks like this on me:




Even my maternity shirt barely fits. Whew, that's a whole lotta baby in there.

EDITED to add: Yes, I have gained more than 7+lbs during this pregnancy, but I don't count the pounds that aren't critter-pounds. Not good for my psyche. Trust me, it's a lot.

Decision made

36 weeks, 3 days.

The OB appointment went pretty much as expected yesterday. The appointment was with my least favorite doc in the OB practice I go to. She is very rushed, almost manic. Drives me crazy.

Anyway, my cervix remains unchanged, which is good news. I've been released from bedrest!!! WHOOOO-HOOOO! Very very very excited about that, if you couldn't guess. My scary-looking toes are getting a pedicure today!

We did the u/s, and the critter is still breech - no surprise there. I can tell exactly where her head is these days, under my left rib cage. She is complete breech, which means butt down and feet sort of crossed in front of her. And she is still measuring big, almost 2 weeks ahead. She is estimated to weigh 7lbs, 5oz, which is closer to what a 38 week baby weighs. Big girl!! She is pretty much proportional, but her head is maybe a smidge bigger. So big baby, big noggin. She seems happy as a clam in there.

We met with the manic OB after the u/s and she basically left it up to us whether to try the version next week. So we weighed the facts: she is big (but not 9lbs big), she has been breech the whole pregnancy, the procedure has about 50% chance of working, even if we turn her she may be too big by the time I go into labor to get that big noggin through my pelvis.

So we opted to not do the version. Mr. P and I just felt it wasn't worth putting the critter through the stress (or me through it) (or Mr. P through it) of doing the version with such a sucky success rate for the ultimate goal of vaginal delivery.

From here, I get to live a normal life (well, normal for someone carrying around a 7+lb person in their belly), which is great! And we are scheduled for a c-section on January 10th. And if I go into labor before that, then we do the c-section at that time. And I continue to go to the OB weekly for monitoring. I am feeling a lot of relief with this decision. No, I'm not looking forward to a c-section, or the recovery afterward, but I think this is the right choice given our situation. It feels right.

So at most, another 3 weeks to wait to meet the little (or not so little!) critter girl! SO SOON!

36 weeks, 1 day

The shower yesterday went well - and better yet, I'm still pregnant!

I was very good - drank tons of water, remained seated for pretty much the whole time - and it was fun to be out of the house and see all my friends. It was a couples shower, with excellent food (a Top Chef's restaurant) and good booze too (or so I'm told, alcohol still smells like poison to me). So fun time had by all, I think.

We got lots of useful presents, which eases my mind a bit. With this whole bedrest thing, I feel woefully behind on my critter preparations. But now we have some bed linens, swaddle/burp cloths, a nightlight, and breastfeeding stuff. And of course, my rock-n-roll lullabyes. Whew, I feel better just knowing they are in the house.

Today my mom and stepdad are coming over to hang out a bit. And best of all, my stepdad is a certified car seat inspector back East. So he and Mr. P will install the car seat bases in both of our cars. Another ease of my mind, knowing that they will let us take her home from the hospital now. Whew.

Tomorrow afternoon is the big 36-week appointment. We'll do the u/s (cannot wait to see her chubby cheeks again!!) and get an estimate on how big she is, as well as her amniotic fluid levels. This will inform the version decision, which I think we'll make tomorrow too. I'm heavily leaning towards no version at this point. But we will see tomorrow.

Shhhhh....don't tell on me

Ok, so I thought, based on what the doc I saw in the hospital said to me, that come 36 weeks, I'd be off bedrest. Remember the comment that OB made? I could "run a marathon (haha) if you make it to 36 weeks" and they would not stop labor.

And when I went to my appointment last Monday, we didn't even talk about the bedrest thing - I was so preoccupied about the breech/version/c-section topic. So I forgot to ask and confirm I'd be off bedrest at 36 weeks. This appointment was with a different doc than the hospital doc, both in the large OB practice I go to.

Yesterday morning, after my 4:30am pee break, I couldn't fall back asleep. So I passed the time obsessing over all that needs to get done, and generally worrying about the pregnancy. Ya know, normal 4:30am stuff. And it hit me that I never confirmed with the OB about the end of bedrest. Being the good (and anal) patient that I am, I called the nurse's line to ask.

And the nurse calls me back and says, "I'm sorry, but the chart says re-evaluate after u/s at 36 week appointment." Which isn't until Monday.

Uh-oh.

This wouldn't be such a big deal, but there is a brunch baby shower being held in my honor on Saturday. Which my mom is flying halfway across the country to attend. Which I thought I'd be off bed-rest for, and able to legally attend. A celebration of the end of bed-rest, if you will.

But now, well, I'm going rouge. I'm still going to the shower. If I'm driven there (it's close to my house, technically I could walk, but won't), sit the whole time (imagine the Queen holding court, kiss the ring, that sort of thing), and go home after - that should be ok, right??

Say yes. Tell me yes. Cause I'm going.

Just don't tell anyone. Especially not my OB. OK, promise? Shhhhhhhhh.

OB update

OB appointment yesterday went well. No progress from last week, still at 1-ish cm dilated, still a bit over 1cm cervical length. So that's good news.

I'm officially on the books for a scheduled c-section on January 10. If we get that far. I asked about why they wait til 39 weeks to schedule the c-section, and the OB explained that for elective c-sections, standard of care does not recommend removing a baby from its mother, as the lungs may not not be ready, before 39 weeks. Ok, I guess that makes sense. But, if I go into labor before the 39 week mark, obviously they'll let me go.

Critter is still breech, and we talked more about the version procedure. First off, next week's appointment will be a big one, as we will do a detailed u/s then. They will estimate her size - which is still running big, based on fundal measurement, the OB called her "generous" - and also estimate the amount of amniotic fluid. The OB said we'll use this info to decide whether or not to even try a version. As it stands, she gives it a 50% chance of working, but she also said this % could go down with her increased size. She also said I would have the option of a spinal block, as the procedure can be "very uncomfortable" for me. She said the version itself would only last about 5-10 minutes, with 2 docs working to turn her. 4 hands. She said it is a bit intense, in that they are basically using brute force to get the baby to move. They would also give me a med to relax my ute (terburline, I think). Whole thing takes place in the hospital, with an IV line placed, no eating for 8 hours beforehand just like a surgery, and they'll have an OR ready, just in case I go into labor from the procedure or the critter is in distress, and need to do an emergency c-section. It does not sound at all fun.

I'm still leaning towards not doing the version, but am reserving the final decision until next week, and have the u/s results. She put me on the schedule for Dec 27. As she said, we can always cancel next week if we want. Ok.

So that's about it. I'm slightly less cranky today, knowing I'll be off bedrest by the weekend, which marks 36 weeks. The baby shower my SIL is hosting for me is Saturday, so it is great timing that I'll be released from bedrest that day, and can actually attend! My mom is coming in town for it too, so that will be nice.

There may actually be an end in sight. An end with a baby girl, which makes all this crapola completely, totally and absolutely worth it.

CRANKY

35 weeks, 2 days.

I had another meltdown yesterday. Pretty much all day I was Cranky, with a capital C. Ugh, soooo irritable. I am sure hormones are at least partly to blame, it feels like that same hormonal irritability. And my skin's a mess, so something's going on, hormone-wise.

I just started crying out of frustration. Poor Mr. P, he is trying his best to keep me happy, but I am a cranky 3-year-old, and nothing will soothe me. I may have cried and said, "But I don't wanna!" I may have stomped my feet too. Ugh! Soooo cranky.

I am sooooooo over this whole bedrest thing. I am really struggling with the thought of doing this another week. UGH! I am so sick of my house. I have not left it in a week. If you look up "stir-crazy" in the dictionary, you'll see my picture.

I do get to leave today for an OB check-up. You know things are bad when I look forward to, when the highlight of my week is, having some lady stick her hand up my cooch. But I am so excited to get out. Put on shoes. See other people. Who cares that is is 10 degrees outside? I get to go outside!! Sad, isn't it?

CRANKY! Ugh.

35 weeks

I'm doing a big **happy dance** this morning. Ok, really I'm lying in bed just wiggling my toes and humming a happy tune, as dancing is not really bedrest-friendly. But HOORAY! 35 weeks today!

For all I complain about bedrest, and trust me, I've been complaining quite a bit (I'm bored! I'm cranky! I want to make dinner! Wah, wah, wah!) there have been some positive results from it. Obviously, not dilating or effacing any more is a big one. But remember the swelling in my feet, especially the right one? Gone. My feet and ankles look normal. No more cankles. Amazing what staying horizontal can do.

And I've gotten all my Xmas shopping done. Lots of online shopping this year, and I'm done early! I've also gotten ahead on birth announcements. I've narrowed it down to a few contenders, so depending on if we go with a picture or not, it will be easy to get it printed. And even better, I've taken all the mailing addresses and consolidated them into a spreadsheet. They had been all over the place before, different lists, locations. Now they are all together, and it will be super-easy to get that mailing out.

So bedrest sucks, but at least there are some benefits. The biggest one being - we got to 35 weeks! Hooray!

Have a good weekend!!

today's version of the version

34 weeks, 5 days.

Still bedresting, nothing new in the ute to report. Things down there have been thankfully quiet. Well, except for the critter wiggling around. She's having a good ole time.

Still not sure where I am with the whole breech baby thing. I'm pretty sure she is still breech. She moves a lot, but more wiggles, shakes and rolls, not flips or turns. And thanks for all your thoughts on this - it is helpful to hear what others think. I have heard that moxa (simplified explanation: burning herb bundle near your feet) can be used to help babies turn. I might try this, as my acu lady from the FET prep did moxa on me before, but I have to wait til I'm off bedrest, so at least another week and few days. I'm not sure if I'm missing a window of time here to do the moxa, but I have to wait til 36 weeks either way.

As for doing the version, I'm still torn. It is more of a medical intervention than it may seem, involving me taking terbutaline which would prevent ute contractions. It happens in the hospital under acute monitoring, in case they need to do an emergency c-section. They most likely would not give me an epidural, as it can be counter-productive in her moving, but rather other systemic drugs for pain relief. It can also be pretty stressful on the critter, and that really makes me pause the most. I mean, she's been healthy and good this whole time. Sure, I bled in the first tri, but she was unaffected. I'm really hesitant to put her in a situation where she'll be stressed (and by stressed I don't mean emotionally, I mean her heart rate and blood flow).

I guess I am hesitant to put her in a potentially dangerous situation, which has fairly crappy odds of success, when I can do a c-section. Maybe if my odds for success were higher, maybe that would sway me more. But 50% is not great, and given the risks, it is not that persuasive. And yes, I know, c-section is major surgery. It carries dangers too, especially for me. It is a lot to consider, for both me and her.

So today, I'm leaning towards no version. But ask me tomorrow, and my mind may change. I really just don't know. I have time to think about it (I hope!!), and really, the u/s at 36 weeks will weigh heavily into the decision process too. And I am sending her all sorts of "turn-baby-turn" vibes and encouragement. But this may be the first of many times that she just doesn't listen to her mommy. I better get used to it.

And interesting family tidbit, my mom told me yesterday that she and my uncle (her brother) were both born breech. Both delivered vaginally, after super-long labors. Granted, this was in the 1940's, so c-section wasn't common. But interesting that breech seems to run in the family.

My version

Still here, still bedresting. 34 weeks, 3 days.

Went to the OB yesterday for my now-weekly office visit. Very exciting to get out of the house, let me tell you. I put on shoes and everything! WOW, the highlight of my week is to be out of the house. Even if it is just to go to the doctor.

I'm at the same place, cervix-wise. A "generous" 1cm dilated, and cervix is the same length, about 1.5cm. So good news, no changes there.

I got many of my breech questions answered. It sounds like the pre-term labor episode does not really play into the breech thing. So basically, if I can get to 36 weeks (the next big goal) they will do an u/s to confirm her position and reassess her size. Then we decide whether to do an external version at 37 weeks. I guess being a little dilated does not mean we can't try a version. But, as the doc said, it will be up to me. I think her direct quote was "Given everything you've been through to get here, it's up to you if you just want her out." Meaning doing an elective c-section.

So now I need to read about (read: obsess) about external versions. The doc gave me about a 50% chance of it working, although that percentage could go down depending on her size at 36 weeks. She's already running big, good for pre-term delivery, not so good for versions.

I'm just not sure what I want to do, what my gut is telling me. My gut is confused. I'd really rather avoid a c-section, but I also am wondering if it is worth trying what could be a painful and maybe-harmful procedure to not have one. And I may go through the whole version procedure, and she still does not turn, and we're back to c-section anyway. I dunno.

Off to ask Dr. Google what she thinks.

Pregnancy books suck

I'm still at home, still bed-resting.

This weekend was pretty quiet (what, no raging parties in my bedroom??) and the critter decided to stay put. I continue to have odd twinges and sensations in the ute/pelvic floor/lower abdomen/hip flexor areas, and last night I did have 2 mild contractions. But nothing horribly painful, nothing organized, and it stopped. So I go to the OB later today for my scheduled appointment, we'll see what she says.

I'm hoping to get some clarity about the whole breech baby/scheduled c-section thing today at the appointment. I'm not sure how this will all work given the pre-term labor. If I can get that far, will they let me go to 37 weeks? Will they schedule me sooner? Will they even try an external version given the pre-term labor scare? I have no idea what she will say.

And this brings me to my latest bitch. Yet again, my pregnancy books are useless. Seriously, what a waste these books have been for me. I have been an outlier in conception, in pregnancy, and apparently now in labor and birth. These books talk about identifying early labor, and what they describe is NOTHING like what I went through. Sigh, I really should write a better pregnancy book, for the outliers. Granted, only a small percentage of people will find it useful (and it will scare the crap out of the normals, but that could be worth it right there!). And there is nothing really written in these books about pre-term labor. Nothing. So again, I'm googling for information. Pregnancy books suck, they are for normal fertiles. Don't waste your money.

So 34 weeks, 2 days today. Yup, I've resorted to counting the days too. Each day is a good thing at this point.

Big exhale - 34 weeks

Deep cleansing breath, peoples! Inhale...2..3..4..5.... and exhale..2..3..4..5....

Ahhhh, doesn't that feel better? I've been doing a ton of that over the past few days. And today, as it snows outside and looks pretty from my bedroom window, me-n-critter have reached 34 weeks. I feel relieved to make this first goal. And even my babycenter weekly email that tells me what is going on every week of the critter's development (I LOVE getting this email every week, it feels like a gold star for me) said that babies born from here on out tend to do very well. Just what I needed to hear.

Not that it has been all puppy dogs and rainbows around here. Yesterday I felt a lot like I did on Monday - I even napped again - and felt sort of vaguely achy, in a round ligament sort of way. Just the way it started before. But it did not progress into anything more painful, organized or anything else, so I'll just keep bed-resting.

And I may have freaked out a touch last night. I just began to feel very overwhelmed and totally unable to help myself. I feel like the nesting instinct has kicked in a bit, or maybe it's just the reality that this critter could come NOW, and I don't feel ready. We have no bed linens for the critter. Her clothes need to be washed. I had no hospital bag packed. I have no nursing bra. We had no food in the house. ETC...til I just began crying.

I think the bedrest part is way too hard at the end of pregnancy, just when I feel the need to get a bunch of stuff done. I know in my logical mind that it will all be ok, and people are around to help me, but emotionally, it is hard. I want to be able to prepare for the critter myself, and right now, all I can do for her is to keep her inside me by resting. That's enough, I know, but I feel like I'm just not ready/organized/prepared. It makes me wish I hadn't been such a scaredy-cat in the second tri, and gotten a lot more stuff done. Oh well, hindsight's a bitch.

Mr. P continues to be a trooper, and is doing everything he can to keep me sane. He even did a load of critter laundry at 11pm last night, just to calm me down. But he's stressed, with demands from work on him too, and it is stressful for me to see him stressed. He even went alone this morning to attend the infant CPR class we were signed up for. I guess it is good for at least one of us to know the info. Argh, it frustrates me I can't be there too.

So that's where I am this morning. Relieved to make it to 34 weeks. Frustrated and upset with bedrest. Feeling unprepared. Bored and antsy.

Deep cleansing breath. In and out. Rinse and repeat.

All Hell etc .... continued

If you are just tuning in to the latest soap opera that is my life, scroll down and read installment #1 from this morning. A fun read, let me tell ya.

Anywho...last we heard, I was wheeled down the city sidewalk to the hospital from my OB's office, cause I was in early pre-term labor.

So we went into triage, and got my ID band, peed in a cup, got into a hospital gown and got my IV port hooked up. They began IV fluids (just Ringers) right away, as they were concerned that some of this was being exacerbated by dehydration. Although I promise you, I had been good about drinking water. But whatever.

Then I got the shot from hell.

My OB told me they were going to give me 2 shots of betamethazone, a steroid that is given in 2 doses (once every 24 hours) to help mature the critter's still premature lungs. So in case she does come today, or soon, her lungs would be more ready for the outside world. Ok, sounds good. And as you may recall, I am not one to be squeamish about shots - heck, I advocate administering my own IM PIO shots in the ass! So the nurse comes in, and says this will be a thigh shot, as they have stopped giving hip/butt shots so they don't risk your sciatic nerve. Gotcha, that hurts, been there.

But holy-high-heaven-and-hell, that shot HURT. OMG, it was a ton of liquid, and damn, it hurt and burned. For a while after too. Ugh. But hey, it is for the critter, so I just swore up a storm and sucked it up.

Then I get formally admitted to labor & delivery. OMG, I'm going to L&D. So we get up there, and I'm put on the belly monitors that monitor the critter's heart rate, and another that monitors my contractions. And the nurse and resident pepper me with lots of questions. By now, about an hour in the hospital, my contraction seem to be lessening. Less often, and less intense. I still feel them, but I'm not having to pause and breathe through them. That's a step in the right direction!

The tiny resident lady gives me another internal (what is that, 3 people so far today with their hand up my crotch? It's barely noon). I mention that she is tiny because she also has small hands, which you'd think would be a good thing when imagining said hand up your cooch. Well, not so. Her hand was bony, and she really needed to shove it up there to reach my cervix. Ouch. Anyway, she says I'm at a "tight" 2cm dilated. Shit, so have I increased?

One thing I've learned through this ordeal is the whole estimating how far along in labor you are is super subjective. One OB's "loose" 1cm is another resident's "tight" 2cm. I mean really, they are just shoving their fingers up there and feeling around. So word to the wise, take these measurements, or should I say estimates, with a grain of salt.

Then the OB comes in, and says how she wants to break the tie between the office OB's "generous" 1cm and the resident's "tight" 2cm. Which means another internal. But this OB is a pro, and it was not too uncomfortable. Or maybe I'm just getting used to this. She says 1cm. Great, so not really progressed in the last few hours. More good news.

So the plan is to wait and watch how the afternoon goes. If I can stop this labor with bedrest and fluids, that is what we'll do. If I begin progress more, then I'll get meds to stop the labor. As I'm close to 34 weeks, the doc was not wanting to give me turbuline. She described some other medicine, a blood pressure med that acts as a smooth muscle relaxer to stop uterine contractions. Ok, fine, the plan sounds good to me.

So we hang out. Mr. P naps a bit (hey, wasn't I the one up all night??) then goes home to pick up some stuff for my stay at the hospital, and I watch TV. And try to relax. Honestly, I was feeling much better, both contraction-wise, and just being monitored so closely at the hospital. I know not everyone feels like I do, but hospitals are relaxing and reassuring places for me. My dad and grandfather are/were physicians, and I've spent much of my life working in various capacities in medical settings. I like the order, I like the technical machines and devices. I am comforted by this. So I was able to relax some, which I know also helped with the contractions too.

The only thing that sucked was I was not allowed to eat or drink, in case they needed to do an emergency c-section. Bummer. I was hungry! We got a quickie u/s done, and the critter looked good. She was moving a ton (she gets antsy when we're hungry). We couldn't get a full growth measurement, as she was moving too much. Bad news though, she was breech. I get another internal somewhere in here too, and things are the same.

Around 6pm the OB comes and re-checks me (this is my 6th internal of the day) and I've not budged. At all. Hooray! And the contraction monitoring shows things have slowed considerably. More hooray! So they are moving me out of L&D and into a regular room. They don't think she is coming tonight. Hooray again! And I am cleared to eat. Thank god.

So up to a regular room, eat dinner, and get ready for bed. Mr. P had run home to get me some toiletries, so I could brush my teeth, which was nice. Sleep was so-so that night, I was pretty keyed up and it took awhile to drift off. But what was the best thing was the contractions stopped altogether by about midnight.

Wake up Tuesday...no, wait Wednesday, to vitals, a new resident rounding, and not much else. Things were all quiet on the uterine front. An OB from my practice came in to see me, and basically said I was doing great, and if this continued I might get to go home that evening. I still needed my second steroid shot at 12:30pm, and she also wanted a good u/s, so get a sense of how big the critter is. Yay, I love u/s!

So Wednesday was basically hanging out in bed all day, waiting around. Got the second shot, still hurt. Waited til 5pm for the u/s. But it was worth the wait. Critter is growing very well, about a week ahead of her gestational age. Good critter. Her amniotic fluid looks good, as does the placenta and cord. She is most certainly breech (damn), and is estimated to weigh about 5 1/2 lbs. AWESOME! And best of all, she has the cutest chubby cheeks we have ever seen. So very cute.

I get discharged right after the u/s, with orders for bedrest for the next 2+ weeks. The goals, says my OB are: 1. get to 34 weeks (which is this Saturday); 2. get to 36 weeks. Basically, after 36 weeks, I'm off restrictions, and when I go, they aren't gonna stop me. The trick will be the whole breech thing. I have an OB appointment Monday afternoon, so we'll discuss it more then. But I think a (hopefully) scheduled c-section is in my future. Maybe by 37 weeks (which is Xmas day, btw)? I'm not sure, I guess that is getting ahead of myself a bit.

So super-long-ass story short, me and the critter are still as one. She seems to be doing fine through all of this, per usual, and I'm hanging in too. I'm currently in my own bed, and feeling the critter wiggle around. No contractions, just a few painless twinges and tightening here and there. Doc said that was to be expected. I'm to call with any fluid leaking, blood, or painful contractions. And now that I know what those feel like, I will be sure to call the doc's on-call line this time, I promise. I'm staying super-hydrated and peeing a lot. All good things.

Whew. What a few days. Never a dull moment with this critter. As my friend said, maybe the critter is getting all the drama out now, so I won't have to deal with it from her later. As my friend so perfectly put it "No facial tattoos at 11 years old, no meth lab in her bedroom." Right. Good perspective. This I can deal with. Meth lab drug raid in my house, that would really suck.

Jinx or All Hell Breaks Loose, Part Deux

Because All Hell Breaking Loose, Part One (see late May/June 2010 for the recap - bleeding/SCH at 7 wks, bedrest til 13 wks and detailed color analysis of all vaginal discharge throughout) was such fun, a big hit, you laughed, you cried, you read it again and again - Well, I'm here to please! That's right, All Hell had indeed Broken Loose again!

So I really should know better by now. All this grateful crap, all this feeling good bragging. Should have been a warning to me. Things do not go smoothly in my life, and things were going way, waaaaaay too smooth. I was feeling good. I was feeling - the kiss of danger - confident. I am in the home stretch, right?

Ha. I jinxed myself.

It all began on Monday. Well, even on Sunday I was feeling a bit achy. I thought it was just some mild round ligament pain - as all the books tell me the critter is packing on the fat at this point, adding up to 1/2 lb. per week. So I was feeling the stretch. No biggie. Sunday was spend mostly watching Mr. P move some last stuff to the storage locker (I may have lifted a few things, but nothing heavy) and then futzing with the mural on the nursery wall. Where we both decided we needed to paint the room before putting up the mural. So we stopped. Not a ton of activity, I promise.

Monday I did some laundry, had lunch with a friend, then went to the craft store. I was out and about no more than 3 hours. I felt tired, so I blew off the grocery store, came home and napped. Which I generally don't do, but hey, that critter is growing! Must be making me tired and achy. Right??

Made dinner, ate it, and still felt tired, and more and more achy. Achy on each side of my lower abdomen, right where all the books say is where round ligament pain happens. So, I do not worry.

Around 9pm, I am beginning to feel a touch of achy around my entire lower abdomen. By 10 it is coming in waves of achy, nothing consistent, but is achy - is it becoming pain? - and coming in waves. I still am not worried, or thinking this is important. We go to bed, but I can't sleep. Yup, it is no longer achy, it is pain.

So I spend most of the night breathing through the waves of pain. Inconsistent waves, not occurring with any regularity, sometimes 30-45 seconds of pain and tightness, followed 90 seconds later by more, sometimes 8 minutes til another one. Heck, I think I went almost 45 minutes between the pain at one point. And the books all say, true labor is consistent, gets more regular. That was not happening to me. So I figured this was some weird mix of Braxton-Hicks with round ligament pain. But, damn, it hurt. I was having to really breathe through the pain, and used my favorite guided imagery technique (I scubaed in Fiji a lot Monday night) to get through it.

So around 6am, I got up, took a warm shower (oooh, that felt good!) and called my OB. Of course, they are not open that early, and I was not deeming this a medical emergency that would page the doc on call, so I just left a message for the nurse. Note - the power of delusion was very strong here. I really could not believe anything was wrong, or I was in labor. Even though I was in these waves of pain that took my breath away. Denial - not just a river in Egypt.

Mr. P went to work, and I told him I'd call him when I spoke to the nurse. So around 9am, the nurse called back, scolded me for not calling the on-call line, and told me to come in for a 9:50am appointment. Called Mr. P, and told him I'd drive myself. Honestly, how insane in that? How strong was my delusion? It amazes me now. Anyway, thankfully, Mr. P was living in reality, and came home immediately to drive me.

Met with one of the nurse practioners, who did a cervix check. Lots of internal poking around. Said she thought I was dilated a tiny bit, and called in one of the docs for a second opinion. OB came in, another internal exam (this will be the theme of the day - internal exams) and yes, I'm beginning to dilate. They said I was a "generous" 1cm. Cervix has shortened to about 1.5-ish cm. And that I was going straight to the hospital, and being admitted for at least the next 48 hours. Maybe a week.

OMG, really? Can you hear my delusions begin to shatter at my feet? That's what heard. That, and tears. My tears. OMG, I'm in early pre-term labor. At 33 weeks.

So they wheeled me down the street to the hospital, and I got to go to all the places I saw on my hospital tour two weeks ago. OMG.

To be continued....

(but not to totally freak you out with suspense, there is a relatively happy ending. this post is just way long. will post more this afternoon, i promise)