The other side of sleep

The Critter Girl continues to sleep through the night. Hallelujah!! And let me be clear, she is sleeping anywhere from 8 to 11 hours at a time. So she still might be up at 5am, but I am not at all complaining. And she will always go back down after a diaper change and short feed til 7:30-8am, so it works. It works real well. Don't I sound rested? :)

Buuuut...that is not the only sleep the Critter Girl should be getting. She should be napping too. And ummm...well that has gone all to hell.

She was a good napper before the nighttime breakthrough. Two solid naps a day, for 1.5-2.5 hours each. Now, not so much. I mean, I guess she needs less napping time now? I'm not even sure. But now, she is dozing off for naps at the usual times, but then only sleeps for 40 minutes, max.

Is that enough? It doesn't seem like it. None of the books (sigh, those damn books, confusing me more than helping me) think so.

So what to do?? I'm not really sure. Anyone out there know?

But hey, I'll trade naps for night time sleep ANY DAY. So if this is the new normal, fine by me. I'm just wondering...

Good Burger (and pasta)

Ok, last food post. For awhile, at least.

Last night I made another old stand-by that I forgot about in the last few months: Buffalo Chicken Burgers. YUM. They feel bad for you, but really, not. They are from a new fave blog of mine - How Sweet It Is. If you have a sweet tooth, you should check it out.

I always make sweet potato "fries" to go with it. I use a Cook's Illustrated recipe, a technique really, that works for pretty much any roasted veggie, broccoli in particular. They say to preheat the oven to 450, with the roasting pan in the oven, so it gets super-hot. Cut up the veg of choice, season well with s&p and olive oil, then dump into a single layer on the screaming-hot pan. It will sizzle, which is fun. Then back to the oven for 15 minutes. That's usually enough for more tender veg like broccoli. For harder veg, like the sweets, turn them over and give 'em another 15 minutes. Ta-da, you're done!

But here is a stupid easy pasta that taste like a super-gourmet restaurant's mac-n-cheese. The key here is buying good cheese, and the real thing. A good motto for all cooking, and crucial here. This is also from Cook's Illustrated, which if you are serious about learning how to cook well, is a great resource.

PASTA CACIO e PEPE

4 oz real Italian Pecorino Romano cheese, finely grated (with extra for sprinkling on the finished dish)
2 teaspoons EVOO
1 1/2 teaspoons finely (and freshly!) ground black pepper
2 tablespoons heavy cream (or half&half)
1 1/2 teaspoon (or more) salt
1 lb. spaghetti (I use the Barilla brand, rigatti kind)


1. Place finely grated Pecorino in medium bowl. Set colander in a separate large bowl.
2. Bring 2 quarts water (and yes, you need to use this exact amount, so measure!) to boil in large Dutch oven. Add pasta and 1½ teaspoons (or up to 1 tablespoon) salt; cook, stirring frequently, until al dente, about 6-ish minutes. Drain pasta into colander set in bowl, reserving cooking water. Pour 1½ cups cooking water into liquid measuring cup and discard remainder; return pasta to now-empty bowl.
3. Slowly whisk 1 cup reserved pasta cooking water into finely grated Pecorino until smooth. Whisk in cream, oil, and black pepper. Gradually pour cheese mixture over pasta, tossing to coat. Let pasta rest 1 to 2 minutes, tossing frequently, adjusting consistency with remaining ½ cup reserved pasta water. Serve, passing extra grated Pecorino separately.

Seriously good, and takes about the time it takes to cook pasta. Try it!

Back to baby stuff next time!

Food update - Turkey recipe

With all this sleep I'm getting (that Critter Girl slept 9.5 hours straight last night!!!!), I can begin to think about cooking again. So after bitching about the food rut we've been in, and your lovely suggestions, I've done some yummy things over the last few days. Here's one recap for those of you that may be looking to cook too.

I'll preface this by saying I'm not big on following recipes exactly or using exact measurements - I believe in learning cooking techniques and making a "recipe" your own.

First, the turkey breast. I bought a whole breast, so 2 big lobes on the bone. Like a 6 lb thing. I broke it down, into 2 boneless lobes of about 1.5 lbs each, and the bones. I made roast turkey with one lobe, which for all you turkey sandwich lovers should be required versus that yucky deli stuff.

To roast in a 400-425 oven, I tie up the boneless breast, just so it is more compact/even. I put the breast in an oven-proof pan (a big frying pan is good, but not non-stick!) on top of veggies (potatoes, sweet taters, onion, celery, carrot - really whatever you like or have around) tossed in a bit of olive oil and s&p. Lots of s&p on the turkey breast too. I'd say it takes about 1 hour 15 - 30 minutes. I swear by the fancy-but-worth-every-penny instant read thermometer I have, you're looking for a temp of 160-ish, and the juices should run clear/yellowish.

Take out the breast, put it on a cutting board (or something with sides to catch the juices) to rest, stick the veg back in the oven for 5-10 minutes to brown up a bit more, then remove the veg from the pan. Put that pan with all the browned bits of goodness on the stove on med-high heat, throw in a pat of butter or more olive oil if the pan looks dry, a sprinkle or two of flour, stir it up (it will look lumpy and scary) and then add some chicken broth/water to deglaze. Maybe a cup, cup and a half. Whisk together and scrape up all the browned bits, stir it all up let it boil til it thickens and yum - gravy. Don't forget to add any accumulated juices from the resting turkey breast!

Seriously, this was so good! And very little hands-on time, so it could cook while I'm doing baby nighttime routine stuff. And leftovers were great!

Tomorrow, a yummy new pasta recipe to share. With only 5 ingredients.

IT happened

OMG, IT happened. But shhhhh...I don't want to say anything too loud, for fear of jinxing all of us.

But IT happened.

She slept through the night last night. All the way through. Like not getting up for a feeding. Like from 8pm til 7am. All the way through. OMG.

Granted, Sunday was a busy day involving 2 boys under 6, her 3 and a half year old cousin, and a dog. Lots of stimulation, that led to overstimulation. And when we got home, she had a bad poo blowout, and that was the final straw - wiping her legs down with cold wipes, well that led to complete overstimulation meltdown. She screamed and cried like I've never heard from her before. It broke my heart into shreds and it took both me and Mr. P nuzzling her to get her to calm down. She took a nap after that, woke up at the usual bedtime routine time, crying of course, had boob and snuggles, and went down around 8pm.

And she slept. All night. I heard a few murmurs around 1am, and again around 5am, but she went back to sleep quickly both times.

My boobs of course were very concerned about this, and were leaky over-engorged messes by 4am, but I forced them to tough it out. And I think this will help with weaning too, forcing those boobs to go longer and longer between feeds.

And me? I feel like I maybe got too much sleep last night. OMG, is that even possible? It does feel good.

But shhhhhh....let's pretend this was never discussed. Don't want to jinx us. And knock on wood too. Just in case...

And so it begins

Thanks for the comments on the last post about new food ideas. I plan to make a baked ziti this weekend, and soup will be on very soon. In fact, yesterday I got a whole turkey breast, boned it into 2 lobes, froze one, roasted one with veggies (yum! and super easy!), and made turkey stock with the bones. So turkey noodle soup is coming up. Yum! Keep the ideas coming!

So in Critter news, very big Critter news...it has begun. The wean has begun.

I fed her 4 oz. of formula for the late afternoon feed yesterday. And miracle of miracles, she did not sprout horns or a tail, turn into a gremlin or any other horrible thing that some would have you believe comes with formula. In fact, she seemed to quite enjoy it, burped well and barely spit up. And seemed...downright content afterward. Huh.

She wasn't even fussy after, as she can be before bedtime. She just took to the boob for her last feed, ate some, and then was finished. Rather than her frantic feed style that is usually the last feed of the day. Huh.

She slept 8 hours in a row last night. A record for her. Huh.

So to summarize, no evil sprouted from her after formula. Good things happened after formula.

This may just turn out ok.

Food Rut

Enough about boobs, and poop, and sleep. At least for one post :)

Anyway, I've realized I'm in a major food rut. I've not had a ton of time to think about new things to cook for dinner, so I've fallen back on the same few things I can make with my eyes closed: tacos (ground beef/turkey/chicken or black bean), stir-fry, pot pie, pan-seared meat (chicken breast/pork chop/steak) with veg and starch, pasta with variations on tomato sauce. Maybe a mac-n-cheese here and there.

So I need inspiration. What have you made recently that's good? And fairly easy or can be prepped ahead of time (like when someone critter-like is napping)? My only food no-no is fish, which I'm not a huge fan of cooking at home. And I don't do the crock-pot thing. Links to recipes or descriptions in the comments are welcome.

Help!

The Girl knows her Daddy

So last week, the week that Mr. P was away on business, was the first week me and the Critter Girl were on our own.

And the single message I've taken away from that week is this: The Girl knows her Daddy.

No question about it, she missed him. She was out of sorts while he was gone, didn't sleep well, was much more fussy than usual, and I swear by the end of the week looked at me like "I'm so bored with you. Where's Daddy?"

It was a tough week. Lack of sleep, plus fussy baby, plus no break from the baby care equals a tough week. I was teary when Mr. P got home, and feeling like a parenting failure. Especially after he puts her right to bed without a hitch, and she's been on track ever since.

But, with sleep comes perspective. It is less of a parenting failure on my part, and more of a parenting success for the team of Pie-n-Mr.P. She is used to both of us, we are both important parts of her day, of her life. And when one of us is missing, well, it's just not the same. Hey, I feel that way too when Mr. P is away - I miss him.

And so does she.

One last weird pregnancy thing

Last week I got rid of one of the last remaining odd pregnancy side effects. No, not all the weight, that is still with me. I got rid of my pregnancy tumor.

Yup, that's what it is sometimes called. Pregnancy tumor. Yuck, right? Formally it is called a pyogenic granuloma and it grew on my forehead around 35 weeks. At first I thought it was a pimple, it sort of began as a whitish bump. Then the bleeding began. Oh my, did this thing bleed. Every time I washed my face, or even absent-mindedly touched the thing - big, fat drops of blood comes gushing out. Running down my face. Lovely.

After a few weeks it sort of toughened up, and the bleeding pretty much stopped. But I was left with this red, fleshy growth thing on my forehead, right above my right eyebrow, near the center of my head. Great.

But as you might imagine, things got busy around then, and I sort of forgot about it. Well, not forgot, but didn't have time to dwell on it too much. Of course, all pictures of the Critter as a newborn include this lovely growth on my head. Very attractive.

So I went last week to the derm. Finally! She cut it off, but then she decided to laser it too. Damn, that laser hurt! I don't know how people choose to get lasered for cosmetic reasons, ouch! It was like getting lashed with rubber bands on fire. Ouch.

Now I'm left with some nasty bruising on my forehead. Almost black-purple circles, each about the size of an eraser head, about 5 of them total. The derm said they'd heal within 2 weeks, and boy do they look scary now. I cover it up with a band-aid when I go out, so as not to scare unsuspecting people.

Just so you know, weird things can happen to you when you get pregnant. Here's another one for ya. Who knew!

9 week status report

The Critter Girl is 9 weeks old today. Amazing.

She is really starting show herself more and more. The smiles are more frequent, which honestly, makes everything yucky totally worth it. I think she will be an observer though, versus a really outgoing girl, as she will just watch before trying to engage. Much like her mom, to be honest. But the smiles, when you get one, whoosh, it totally melts me every time. I feel like I've earned it.

She is also sleeping like a champ. She has begun to miss/sleep through her 2nd night feed (an early morning one around 4-5am) and just does her 1-2am. So sleeping from 7 til 1-2, feed, then through til 7-8am. Wow. It's like she is growing up right before my eyes. "No Mom, I don't need that newborn baby feed anymore. And by the way, can I borrow the car tonight for my date with Butch?" Ahhhh!

This week should be interesting, Mr. P is going away on business early Tuesday AM through late Thursday night. That will be the longest me and Critter Girl have been on our own. I am hoping we can stay on routine, and the Critter doesn't get too out of whack without Daddy. He is an important part of our nighttime/sleepytime routine, so she may miss him. Fingers crossed for us.

2 months old

Oh, not-so-little Critter Girl, you are already 2 months old today. Can you believe it?

I look at you and think, you've always been like this. But I look at pictures from the last 2 months, and you have grown and changed so much. You now weigh 11 lbs, 10.5 oz and are 22 inches long. It really is amazing how big you've gotten, and how you reveal yourself to us more and more every day.

Your latest tricks include loving to watch Mommy and Daddy when we talk, specifically watching our mouths move. Then your mouth begins to move too, with and without sounds. It is really cute. Your smile welcomes me every morning when I come in to your room and say Good Morning to you. You still love your full-body 3 minute (at least!) morning stretch, it breaks my heart every time. You like tummy time on my tummy, raising your head to look at me.

We still don't know what eye color you'll have, they are still grey-ish, but I'm betting on brown, like mine. Daddy thinks hazel, like his. We will have to wait and see.

You have discovered your hands, and love to suck on your pointer finger knuckle and thumb area. Loudly. You love some knuckle lip-smacking. You also are starting to coo and make new noises, every day a new sound comes from your lips. You have begun to look at yourself in a mirror, and smile when you do.

You are more interactive every day, and I really enjoy watching your personality emerge. Mommy and Daddy (and Umpkins too!) love you very much. Happy 2 month birthday, little girl.

Sweet Sleep

It is truly amazing what a good night's sleep can do for my outlook on...well everything. And by good night's sleep, these days that is 5.5 hours, up for 1 hour feeding, then another 4 hours. Oooh, isn't that just luscious?

That is all. Enjoy your sleep too. Tiger blood got nothing on sleep.

Cruel Irony

Ok, ok, I've calmed down over here. Sorry for the nasty rant last time, I just can't believe after everything else that my body has messed up on, it continues to fail me. It is super-frustrating.

Anyway, I went to the OB on Friday afternoon, and yup, mastitis. Both boobs, worse in rightie. So I'm on antibiotics - and not one of those easy Z-Pac things, oh no. Pills 4 times a day for 10 days, and taken on an empty stomach. Never mind that I'm breastfeeding (more on that in a sec) and hungry all the time. Sigh, I just can't win here.

And yes, I'm still breastfeeding. In fact, the same infection that was the straw that broke this breastfeeder's back, the one that made me throw in the towel without remorse (but maybe with some anger?). That same infection is forcing me to continue breastfeeding indefinitely. As my OB said, don't change anything about my breastfeeding routine now, it will only worsen the infection. Oh great. Can't you just taste the irony??

And I'm going to have to be super-careful and slow when I do try to wean her, as the mastitis may come back as my body adjusts to making less milk. Ugh. So it looks like the Critter may just get her breastmilk through 5-ish months anyway, whether I want it or not.

I am glad she is such a flexible girl though, she is ok with boob or bottle, from me or from dad or whoever. And so far, she is ok with antibiotic-tainted milk, which everyone assures me is totally safe for her to eat. I was warned she may get a little more tummy upset (like anyone could from antibiotics) but knock on wood, so far so good. I'm eating yogurt like it's my job.

So that's the story here, from If-it-can-go-wrong-it-will land. Still making milk, still a cow. Moo.

I HATE my Boobs

If you are offended by vulgar language, go away now. Shit's about to get ugly.

I fucking hate my boobs. And yes, I fucking hate breastfeeding. No more of this "actively dislike" crap, I hate hate hate it! Yes, I may have just stomped my feet like a toddler when I typed that.

Things have devolved around here. I had been planning on a slow wean, over the next month or 6 weeks. However, my fucking boobs had a different plan.

My fucking boobs have ached/hurt pretty much on and off since I began breastfeeding. I chalked it up to all the problems with engorgement that I've had, and didn't think much of it. Sometimes it would hurt to hug Mr. P, which is sad. Anyway, this week, my nipples began to hurt again. This was new since they toughened up several weeks ago. But again, I thought maybe the Critter wasn't latching well all of the sudden. I couldn't really account for the new burning sensations in my fucking boobs, or the shooting and stabbing pain either. But who has time to really think about these things with a 7 and a half week old infant to care for? Not I.

And yesterday I felt tired. Super-tired, but we had a sorta bad night, so no surprise there. Tired is constant these days. And head-achy too, but that tired head achy feeling. I thought nothing of it.

Well, I'm sure you can see where this is going. By last night, the fever began. Started as a low-grade fever, 99.2. When I got up to pump at 1am, because my fucking boobs are engorged and won't let me sleep, I was up to 100.5. Fuck. And I really felt like crap by this point, given the fever and all. All over aches, sore, chills, sweats. In addition to all the boob pain. All sorts of fucking fun. Fuck me.

So it looks like I have mastitis. Otherwise known as a fucking breast infection. My boobs hurt like hell, but they are still cranking out the milk. Of course. So they hurt from infection, AND are engorged. Fucking typical. And apparently, the milk is fine for the Critter to drink, so I'm now pumping and feeding her with bottles, because the thought of her sucking on my inflamed nipples is a fucking nightmare. I go to my OB this afternoon to get checked out, and most likely start antibiotics. Joy.

Can I please just stop this fucking breastfeeding crap? Please? Because this is the last straw. I fucking HATE breastfeeding.

Out and About

In non-baby news, I've gotten out of the house again! Hooray!

It has been such crappy weather for the last umm...2 months, I've barely been outside. Housebound while it snows and snows then ices and snows some more. Blech. But in the last week, it has thawed some, and the sun came out. I've done so much, I'm feeling almost like a normal person again. I got my nails done - ahhhh, so nice, my toes were super-scary - and I've been out to lunch TWICE! Will wonders never cease...

It really is good for the psyche to see a little sunlight. I wonder if the Critter had been born in June if we would have been out more, out and about earlier than 7 weeks. Or would I still have been a walking zombie for the first 6 weeks and been homebound anyway? Hard to say. But I tell ya, I'm really really super-really looking forward to spring and summer. I love my stroller (Bumbleride Indie in the red color), and I plan on getting lots of use out of it. That Critter girl will be very mobile.

Yay Sunlight!

So boring, more sleep stuff, yawn

Interesting feedback from the last scandalous post. Nice to know many of you feel like I do, although you are very very quiet about it! I was also thinking about how I know I'm weaning at 5-6 months anyway, so we can begin to work on Number 2 (we have 3 more euploid blasts on ice, you know). I wonder if this was not the plan, if the Critter was it for us, if I would feel differently. If I would cherish this experience more. Maybe.

Anyway, things are really beginning to stabilize around here (knock on wood, please don't jinx me!) routine-wise. The Critter has really taken to the Whisperer routine (not schedule, not clock/time-dependent) of Eat-Activity-Sleep. She has been on about 3 hour cycles with this, so about 30 minutes to eat, burp, cuddle, then about 45-ish minutes of activity (although this time varies a lot) then nap. She has been napping anywhere from 45 min to almost 2 hours, it just depends. But she goes down easily, as long as I catch her sleepy cues (2 yawns and one eye droop) and put her down in her crib before she falls fully asleep. If I catch this, she is down right away. If she already falls asleep, or just gets cranky, it can be even more disruptive to put her down. The opposite of what I'd think, but hey, whatever works.

We've been trying to come up with an evening routine, what we do before we put her down for her big sleep. Many people recommend bathtime, but we've decided against this, at least for now. We just do a face and hands wash, diaper change, into fresh jammies, and then lullabyes and a backrub/cuddle. It seems to be relaxing for her, so hopefully she'll begin to pick up on the sameness of it each night, as a signal for "Time for bed". She's been sleeping 6-ish hours, then we feed her, and she sleeps for another 3-4 hours. Pretty good for a 7 week old, I think. I'm feeling more rested, that's for sure.

See, I really have become one of those moms that can only talk of boobs and sleep. Ugh. Mr. P and I have planned a date night for Friday, my MIL is babysitting. Looking forward to being an adult for a bit.