XOXO

Note: This is a post that my still-fighting-the-good-fight IF sisters may want to skip. I would have, I totally get it.

I think the Critter Girl is learning to give hugs. And slobbery wet kisses.

Oooooh boy, it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am her mom, and she loves me.

I know, I know...I've been her mom for awhile now. I know this. And I know she loves me, and I love her more than anything I've ever known.

But when she tries to wrap her Popeye arms around my neck and shoulders, and nuzzles into my neck or chest and holds on tight...whew! It truly takes my breath away. And it hits me like nothing so far has - she is mine, my daughter, my little girl. I'm her mom.

Wow. Just wow.

I never knew such a feeling. Such love that it makes you cry. Not like this. It's overwhelming (I may have cried a tear when she hugged me once) and wonderful and....just breath-taking.

It has taken me 6 months to wipe away these last IF scars, to truly open my heart all the way. That sounds bad, like I didn't love her before - which is not true, not what I mean. I don't know how to really explain it...to find the right words. I just feel more open than I have in a very long while. Healed. Not forgotten, but healed.

Her hugs, her slobbery kisses on my cheek, they have changed me for good, for the good, and forever.