Send good vibes at 2:30pm today!!

The day is here!

As with my FET, I'm asking for your help. At 2:30pm Central time today (Monday) - so that's 3:30pm East Coasters and 12:30pm Westies (and non-North Americans, whenever you can) - I need you to send me one or some or all of the following:

~ prayers
~ best wishes
~ happy thoughts
~ sticky vibes
~ good karma
~ zen and peace
~ good luck

Really, any positive vibes you can. And this includes you too, lurkers! I know you're out there!! Just stop what you're doing for a second around that time, and send me a good thought. Easy peasy!

I'm feeling good today, mostly excited with a pinch of nerves. About right, given the day. I'll try to post tonight with the details or at least the stats (how huge will she be??), but don't worry if I'm not able to til Tuesday.

Ooooooh boy, here we go!!!

39 weeks

Can you believe it? 39 weeks today. My cervix should get some sort of award or something.

I think I'm ready for Monday, as ready as I'll ever be. I'm less nervous today, not sure why, but I'll take it. It's hard to imagine that I'll finally meet the critter girl in person in 2 days.

And everything is done. Meals are cooked and frozen, nails are polished, lower tummy waxed, large stockpile of TP is in the cupboard. We are ready.

39 weeks. Amazing to have gotten this far. Just amazing.

Thank you all!

38 weeks, 5 days.

Thank you all for your comments. Seriously, it has made me feel SOOOOOO much better to hear success stories, and to know you all are out there cheering me on. Really. Thank you.

My insurance will cover me for 4 nights in the hospital, so it sounds like I'll be feeling much better by the time they release me. This is good.

One big concern: I live in a townhouse, which means lots of stairs. We don't have a bathroom on our first floor, where the kitchen and living room are, so I'm still a bit unsure where we will "live" for my first few days home. I don't want to be up and down the stairs all day peeing if it is gonna hurt a lot. Maybe we'll do the John-and-Yoko thing and live in our bedroom for a few days. But it also sounds like some people are feeling ok by this point, so maybe the stairs won't be such a big deal? We'll have to play it by ear I guess.

So between now and Monday, I'm trying to get out as much as possible, running those last errands (stock up on TP!), hitting my favorite lunch spots one last time, getting my hair cut and nails done, and having one last date night without the need for a babysitter with Mr. P.

But I'm still sleeping poorly, which sucks. I've been up the last 3 nights from about 2:30am til 6. And boy, do I feel tired. I guess I need to get used to this feeling, I'm gonna be tired a lot. I'm not sure if this is pregnancy-related or stress-related. I've slept pretty well throughout the pregnancy, but my legs have really been hurting this last week. And I do have an 8+ lb child in my belly, which can get awkward. But nerves, yeah, can't discount those too. Well, either way, I'm sleepy.

So thanks again, everyone. Keep those positive thoughts coming, I really do feel the happy vibes you are sending. And I may have y'all do a repeat of my FET, and have you send good vibes at the right time on Monday. Update on the time later.

So thanks. :)

Getting scared

38 weeks, 4 days.

We had our last OB appointment of this pregnancy yesterday. The last time we'll do the doppler, the last time my huge belly is measured, the last time my BP is taken twice. Wow. It is hard to believe.

Everything is pointing to the scheduled c-section on Monday. No change in my cervix, and the critter is still breech. But her butt is not very engaged in my pelvis, so it is unlikely she will put me into labor between now and Monday. Never say never, but how about highly unlikely? Oh, and the OB said the critter is as big as a moose. Heehee, she is a honking-big child already. Easily over 8 lbs. Mr. P and I have an over-under bet on her birth weight, at 8 1/2 lbs. I have the under, but I'm not so sure now. We'll see Monday!

We talked with my OB about the c-section, what to expect, where to go, how it will all go down. My favorite OB, who we met with yesterday, will also be doing the section, which is nice. I still really like her, and trust her completely. It was good to hear the details, and understand better what will happen.

But I have to admit, I'm starting to get nervous about the surgery. I've woken up the last 2 nights and been up with racing thoughts. Stress thoughts.

I'm nervous about the surgery, but also nervous about the recovery. I'm scared I'll be in so much pain that I'll be unable to care for the critter. I'm scared I won't be able to mother her from the get-go, and that makes me sad. I'm scared people won't understand how I'm feeling and won't help me as much as I may need.

Sigh, I'm just plain scared.

Now, I know many women have c-sections every day, and most women do just fine. And even those that have trouble are still good moms. I know this in my head, I know these things. But my heart, in my feelings, well, they are slow to catch on. They are hiding in the corner.

It's almost worse to know what's coming, it allows me to wallow in the "what ifs" too much. I just hope it all goes ok. Hope, hope, hope.

One week

38 weeks, 2 days.

One week from today is the scheduled c-section. And I mostly believe we might actually make it til then. Can you believe it?? In one week (or less!), I'll meet the critter. WOW.

I have to say, I feel ready. A lot more prepared than I did even a few weeks ago. And just ready. Ready in my head. Ready in my mind. Ready in my heart.

I was also thinking about not being pregnant anymore. I think that is going to be weird, not being pregnant. I've sort of gotten used to it, it will be strange to be able to have my body back again. It will be strange not to feel that critter wiggling around. I'm not sure I'll miss all of what being pregnant was like, not exactly, but it's like I've almost forgotten what its like to not be pregnant. Pregnant became the new normal.

And in the vein of my reflections on pregnancy posts, I was thinking about what I thought would happen when I was pregnant, but didn't happen. I really thought Id have more tummy troubles - given my mild IBS tummy. But I've only had minor bouts of constipation, nothing to make me really uncomfortable. Colace has been my savior, I think. A small dose daily (it was in my prenatal vitamin) really helps. That, and Fiber One cereal, fruit and veggies, and lots of water.

Really, being pregnant was not too bad overall. I have one more week to marvel at my body and what it accomplished, and then it will be over. But my body will have all new body experiences to look forward to, what with post-partum and c-section fun-n-games. Oh, and a new critter to love and care for and protect and love.

One more week. :)

Interesting article

If you can, read this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/magazine/02babymaking-t.html?ref=magazine

I found it very well-written and insightful.

Welcome 2011!

38 weeks. Thirty eight!!! 3 and 8!

Woooooooo-Hoooooooo! 38 weeks today! I'm amazed, grateful and just fully over-joyed to be here, to have the critter still growing inside me. Good job critter, and a huge gold star for my cervix! Yay!!

And Happy New Year to all. 2010 was an interesting year (euphemisms, anyone??), to say the least, filled with the ups and downs only infertility can bring. I'm hopeful for 2011, not only for me, but for all my bloggy friends.

My wish for all of us is forward motion. Positive forward motion. Maybe not in the directions we planned, cause we all know the best laid plans often end in ruin, but in a positive direction that allows us to grow and be happy. That's my wish.

Enjoy your New Year's Day, eat some good-luck foods (black-eyed peas!) and tell your IRL supportive peoples you love them. I love all of you, and many thanks for all the support in 2010, bloggy friends.