I had lunch today with someone (let's call her Mary) who began as a colleague and has become a good friend of mine, outside of work. My friendship began with Mary almost exactly a year ago, when we decided just the 2 of us should go out for drinks after work. We go to a lovely place by my house, with a nice patio outside and settle in. We get our drinks and begin chatting, and she spills the beans that she and her husband are thinking about trying to have kids. So I light up, because at this point in my IF journey, I am nearing the end of the insurance-mandated-1-year-try-on-your-own period, and I have lots to share about this subject. And as Mary is about 2 years older than me, I figure she will need to know all I've learned thus far: OPKs, FSH, HSGs, all the good acronyms any IF girl knows. I even tell her of this great website that has OPKs and POAS sticks cheap. Cause she'll need them, for months and months. Just like me.
So great, we bond. We'll get pregnant soon (or maybe not so soon) and be in this journey together.
Can you guess where this is going?
Bingo! On her first try with her husband, POW! Preggers (and mind you on vacation on a couch somewhere, and she had not even begun to track her cycles!!).
So fast forward to lunch today, almost a year exactly since our fateful drink. She talks about her beautiful baby boy, and I'm talking about my hormone holiday and travelling far away to meet another doctor.
How does this happen?
Sigh...still waiting around over here. Tap, tap, tap.
Repeat: Cold Peace
1 day ago
Ah....I feel your pain. One of my best friends and her husband decided to stop BCP and she got pregnant the next week. Reminds me of that favorite saying of my mom's - life isn't fair!
ReplyDeleteugh. That hurts. So that is your 'benchmark baby'. I remember last year (at this time actually) swimming around in a pool...chit chatting with some friends. My friend J decided to have a baby. She was already diagnosed with PCOS, so figured it would take a while to get PG. (at this point I had already been trying 6 months). Fast forward 6 months or so..my friend FINALLY gets the nerve to tell me she is pg....and actually was when we met in June!! WTF?!?!?!?!? She has delivered and home by now of course and I am still wading through the prelims before our IVF.
ReplyDeletesucks. I feel your pain.
*ICLW*
www.ttc-wildride.blogspot.com
I can totally relate. As happy as I am for my friends who get preggo within five minutes of wanting a child, the truth is that it makes me feel very jealous and conflicted. I have been married for so long, and these friends get married years after me and get pregnant like it's nothing. So while I am happy for my friends, my heart also sinks a bit - okay, maybe more than a bit - whenever a I hear the news that yet another one is preggo...
ReplyDeleteFriends of ours announced their pregnancy with (and I swear this is almost word for word) "the condom broke and she's pregnant, it's earlier than we hoped but all good" seriously, I could have jumped up and scratched their faces off.
ReplyDeleteHope is right, life really isn't fair sometimes.
Firstly, I have sooo been there. Friends who all got married, then ttc all at about the same time....their kids are in kindergarten, I have a three-year old.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, your insurance company can mandate a year of 'try on your own'? Seriously? How do they keep track of that???
Yeah, my insurance company (and I think this is fairly standard, no?) said I had to try for a year, I was under 35. No way for them to really check, but I was still optimistic that I'd be the one who conceives in the 11 month (hour?) of trying. I did fudge the dates by about a month to get the IF evaluation moving.
ReplyDeleteHi Again!
ReplyDeleteI've been there. My SIL and another really good friend decided to try during the fall of 2007. It was a fun bonding experience with my friend - we purchased books and agreed to take pre-natal yoga together. Well, SIL was pg within a month and my good friend a month later. Both their daughters are now approaching their first birthdays. DH and I are godparents for my friend's daughter and DH is godfather to our niece. We love them both to bits but it hurt like hell throughout their pregnancies and then through their first few months after birth. We're better about it now but I hope to never feel that way ever again!
ICLW #31
Oh, wow. Been there. :( But at least my friend was soooo considerate of my feelings and when we found out I needed donor eggs, she wanted to donate to me. But, it's still so hard. Thinking of you sweetie!
ReplyDeleteTammy
www.twondra.blogspot.com
ICLW
Yep. Been there. Heck, still there.
ReplyDeleteICLW
I hear you - pregnant women and babies cause my heart to lurch.
ReplyDeleteI'm also enjoying a hormone holiday - and the beer and wine that goes along with it. I have set a quit date of next Tuesday, and I'm dreading it. There is nothing better than cold beer on a hot summer day.
Crud. Seems to happen so easily for others. Wish I had had someone like you to give me the info. It was a tough road for me. Sending lots of hope your way!!
ReplyDeleteICLW
*hugs*
ReplyDeleteThat is just hard. I just LOVE it when it is that person who forgot how to take their BCP's. I wish it was easy for all of us. It's just not fair.
ReplyDeleteTina
ICLW
My friend and I talked about how great it would be to go through pregnancy together. Her baby boy is 4 months old and I am also on a hormone holiday. Oh well. Everyone's body is different.
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW.
Ugh. . . I was so hoping this conversation wasn't going this way. I'm sorry. It's always so hard when we find out that some people just get pregnant so easily. Thinking of you.
ReplyDelete