Are you a girl's girl? I don't mean that you like girly things, like pedicures or pink or purses.
I mean you generally like the company of women over than of men or even mixed groups. At a party, you always congregate with a group of other women, talking and laughing for hours on end. You were a member of a sorority, and as a single girl, went out in large packs of your sisters. You still go out in large packs of women, for dinner or a book club or a girl's weekend.
This is many women, maybe most women. But it is not me.
I have never had large groups of women friends. Sure, I was in a sorority, but I had a small group that were my pals, and really hated the large packs of girls. I always had close guy friends, and they were the ones I tended to hang out with on a regular basis.
It was that men tend to be more direct. Like me. Less drama, or even no drama, like me. Don't hold a grudge, don't play politics, don't play "Mean Girls" games. Also like me. Guys can get in a fight, and be hugging it out and going for a beer together 5 minutes later. Like me. If you don't know what I mean, see "Swingers" where in one scene a guy's pulling a gun on these dudes he doesn't know, and in the next scene they are playing video games like old friends. Exactly. That would never happen in a girl's girl world.
Not that one way is better or worse than the other. I just noticed this difference in full contrast this weekend. I am not like most women. All those Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus stereotypes, yeah, I'm from Mars every time.
Now I realize that given this is an IF blog, many of my readers are girl's girls. And that's cool. I'm not knocking it. Heck, it'd be easier to be a girl's girl. It's more about me understanding who I am, what I like, and putting myself in situations where I'm happy and comfortable.
Not like this weekend. Which was nightmare-ish. Think your DH at your girl's night. That was me. The spa time was great (again, I do like me some girly stuff, like pedicures and purses), but the girl's time was endless.
But I came home, watched the Cubs game (they lost, boo), and was quiet with my DH. Whew.
Repeat: Cold Peace
1 day ago
I'm more like you - I have a handful of close girlfriends and I like some "girly" stuff, but I have never been a true girl's girl. I don't get it when people don't say what they feel or talk behind each other's backs. Most of my friends in HS were guys and though I was in a sorority in college I only had a handful of close friends.
ReplyDeleteSorry that the girl time was nightmare-ish. At least you got in some good R&R and got to have some quiet time with the hubs.
I am not a girl's girl. I always tended to feel more comfortable hanging out with the guys. I wasn't "one of the guys" though, so I don't know where I fit then...
ReplyDeleteI find it's awkward now that's I'm married. I feel like I have to be more careful when I hang out with guys, because there has to be a line. But when I'm with "the wives" I am never totally comfortable. I feel more judged and like I need to watch what I say and how I act.
Now that I'm older, I cherish the good girlfriends I have. I don't have tons of them, but the ones I have are important to me.
You and I could so hang out together! I always had more guy friends than girls. Girls are all those things you mention...and I don't like that. Especially in pack form. I feel bad sometimes when I'm at my SIL's house because I'll stay in the sunroom and watch golf or football with the guys while the women are in the kitchen talking and laughing away. I don't fit in with all of that. I have a few close women friends, but most are just acquaintences...and that's fine by me. But I also like pedicures and purses. I didn't get my first pedicure until 2005, but now I'm hooked! :-) Congrats for surviving the girls night out but I'm sure you were glad to get back home to your baseball and DH!
ReplyDeleteFellow Mars resident here. I was raised with just my dad and my brother, so naturally growing up most of my closest friends were guys. I used to get a lot of flack from girls because they thought I was competing for the guys attention - when really it was only because I felt more comfortable with men. Everytime I'm forced into a girly-girl event it feels like work. I'm literally exhausted when I get home
ReplyDeleteTo this day I choose my female friends very carefully, and it takes a bit of time for me to actually feel at ease with them. Nice to hear that yet again, I'm not alone. If you're ever in the San Francisco area, look me up and we can grab a beer and hit up a Sharks game. ;)
The way you described the weekend beforehand made me tired just reading about it, and I'm pretty sure that, well, I like hanging with guys better most of the time as they are just simpler.
ReplyDeleteSo congrats on living through the weekend and get some rest!
I think I am the odd one out...I'm definitely a girls girl! I don't care for the drama, however I do have some, but I LOVE girls nights!
ReplyDeleteI know EXACTLY what you mean! Do you also hate bridal showers and shall I dare say it, on an IF blog, baby showers? I pretty much do. Too bad we didn't know each other at JMU! (Or did we??) I wasn't even in a sorority. I can't remember the situation, but a few years back, early on in my relationship with my husband, in response to something I had said or done, he said, "You ARE a girl!" I laughed out loud.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Yes that was Jill's blog. I only read a small portion of it. I will have to read more.
I agree with you. I never got along well with girls, unless they didn't get along well with other girls too. I always made fun of the girly girls who hung out in gaggles, and was always glad I never had girl friends to have a Girl's Night Out With. In fact, I vowed to never have one of those. I'm not a tomboy by any stretch of the imagination, I just don't like cattiness.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it is good from time to time to just get out with some good girl friends and connect with other women. I'm glad you had a great time. :)
I'm only a girls girl around MY girls. I'm not comfortable with the whole huge group of cackling girls running amuck. I absolutely detest feeling like a third wheel and so can sympathise with your feelings over this weekend. The important part is that you survived and you can put it behind you, good on you for attending it anyway because I'm sure it crossed your mind on more than one occaision to think of an excuse why you couldnt attend. Onwards & upwards now!
ReplyDeleteInhabitant of Mars here (I think I'm noticing a trend amongst your readers).
ReplyDeleteEver since my diagnosis (and even for a time before it), I've always felt like an "impostor" whenever I've found myself socializing with a large group of women. Kind of like they're the "real" women, and I'm just a wannabe. Talk of periods and uteruses and pregnancies make me go weak in the knees (in a bad way). And the politics! Don't even get me started. It's unreal to me how women keep pulling these shenanigans well into their 30's. Bottom line: I'm much much MUCH more at home when I'm around my guy friends (but hot DAMN, I still love me some purses, shoes and girly clothing!).
I'm proud of you for surviving the weekend and coming out in 1 piece. =)