When I contacted my nurse at the far away clinic to see about the logistics of cycling again, I ended the email by saying how it had been a while since I've cycled, and to give me any information I forgot to even ask about.
It's true, it feels like FOREVER and three days since I've done this. Almost three years, if you want an accurate number. January 2010. It is amazing how the mind works too. I have blocked out so much, forgotten all the crap that goes along with cycling in general, and cycling at the far away clinic, specifically.
Like Day 3 labs. Huh, forgot all about those. TSH (which given I'm on thyroid meds should be in a nice acceptable range), e2, LH, and AMH. I've forgotten what they all mean, what levels I should have, I've forgotten all of it. I used to live and die by these numbers, and now...poof, it's all gone. And of course the far away clinic will only let their lab run these tests, so I have to get a blood shipping kit sent to me, get the blood drawn on the right day, freeze it and ship it back to them. Which of course costs money, out of pocket money. Sigh, I forgot just how fast everything rings up there.
Honestly, I feel a bit overwhelmed getting back into this again. I don't have the time or energy to care as much as I used to, to be on top of things like that. And the cost, well, it weighs on me more now than it ever did before. Money that could be going to our house fund, or to stuff for the Critter.
I thought today, as I was working to get this shipping kit sent to me, that if my labs come back as total shit, maybe that will be enough for me to end this. But then I realized I have no idea what total shit labs would even look like!
It is beginning to feel a bit crazy around here. Stay tuned.
Repeat: Cold Peace
1 day ago
And so it begins....the crazy up & down of cycling...and to do it from afar has to be even more challenging. Wishing you the best of luck!
ReplyDeleteOh I have to say as exciting as it seems to be trying again, I would not be excited about all the hoopla...it IS easy to forget all those ins and outs of cycling. Sigh. I hope you get good numbers and sorry about the cost--the money part of any of this sucks. Our financial planner met with us the other day and even with putting 10K in each of our kids college funds today, we still need to put in 300-400 EACH month in each of their funds just to make sure they can afford a state school easily. Sheesh. Makes me want the 85K back for infertilty treatments...
ReplyDeleteI'll start by saying I didn't cycle at a far away clinic so didn't have all of the added "junk" that you have to deal with ... but I do very much recall feeling the exact same way you do when getting back into a full blown cycle. Mine were exactly 2 years apart and I had forgotten everything. Even now, 11 weeks preggo, I have to set alarms for my PIO shots, my suppositories, etc. It just feels different the second time around. I wanted it as badly for sure, but I couldn't focus 100% of my energy on it because I'm chasing a toddler around. So, this is my long way of saying I think that everything you're feeling is totally normal!
ReplyDeleteIt's been two years for me and I forget a LOT of it. I particularly forget just how much the constant doctor's appointments take out of you, how tired I am, etc, etc. (that's just with an IUI cycle, I haven't done IVF, so I can imagine it's so much harder.) Like, I actually thought I would be able to run during a medicated cycle. um, i was very wrong about that.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck as you get going again! FX labs look good!