Again another week between posts. Not intentional, but time seems to escape me these days.
Life is chug, chug, chugging along here. It is sort of funny, how I am able to slip right back into our routines, our ruts, our life, even when we are also in the midst of some major life decisions. The Critter and I go about our days, having fun together, going to her classes, the park, on playdates, to the store. Everyday life things. And it is fun, I'm happy in our routine.
Then I'll see the preggers lady pushing a stroller with a kid about Critter's age, and my stomach will drop a bit. It is not as bad, as visceral, a reaction as I used to have in my pre-Critter days, but it still makes me pause for a second. Pause to curb my jealousy, mostly.
Mr. P and I are in "thinking about it" mode. Which means we really haven't talked about it since last week's big talk. I did contact my insurance, and we do have 2 more IVF tries paid for. So that's nice, I guess. But like I said, just because insurance will cover, if we go to the far-away clinic again to cycle, much comes out of pocket too. So it is hardly free, or fully covered.
He is also weighing the idea of leaving his current job. A crazy thing, perhaps, in this day and age. But he is investigating options, and seeing what else is out there for him. Even if he did leave, he'd get some sort of severance, so that weighs into the decision too. I does scare me a bit, but I hope that it will be worth it in the end. We shall see.
So that's the deal these days. Life moves along, regardless of the inner turmoil that may be going on. And sometime the routines of life can be very soothing. Lulling me into thinking it will all be ok somehow. Whether it really will be or not, ya know?
Repeat: Cold Peace
1 day ago
Life is cruel like that....just keeps on moving without giving us a chance to catch our balance after the curve balls life has thrown at us tips us off kilter...glad you're taking time to think things through....I've decided thinking is bad for me so we're just going to get right back on the horse and see what happens....thinking of you!
ReplyDeletewow, two more attempts covered?? i would totally do it if it was covered and i really wanted another. do you have to go to the far away clinic? is it that you just feel like you get better results there? our current insurance doesn't cover any art, we were lucky when we were trying for louise because the insurance we had then covered a maximum lifetime benefit of up to $3000, lucky for us we were able to get pregnant through iui (several iui's that is as well as a couple of laparoscopies that were coded differently), we'd have been screwed if we needed ivf. so, as i said, our current insurance doesn't cover any art, but that's ok, i'm not really dying to have anotehr at this point. if mr. p changes jobs, will you still have the same insurance? i guess you guys will probably take that all into consideration while he thinks about changing jobs and the two of you think about trying for number tow again. whatever you do, it will be the right decision for you and your family. good luck mama!
ReplyDeleteyeah. I get this. I find those pregnant women with toddlers pretty hateful right now. I hope that you two come to a decision that feels right for you. Either way, the whole thing is just hard hard hard, even with a wonderful, joyful toddler.
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