totally gross

I know that with being pregnant, and all the good that comes along with that - kicks, rolly-polly, cute belly, eventual baby - there are some less-than-good symptoms that can happen. Some you hear about, and some that no one seems to want to acknowledge.

I've been very lucky so far. Other than some queasiness and food aversions (which ended early in the 2nd tri), and some sporadic leg cramps and hip pain at night, I've been relatively symptom-free.

But over that last few weeks, I've had this really odd thing happen. Not just odd, but gross. Totally gross, in fact.

I've been woken up out of a dead sleep by the sensation of bile quickly rising in my throat, about to spew all over me. Ewwww. And I don't feel nauseous, this is not a queasy thing. Its just throwing up out of nowhere. While I'm sleeping, for goodness sakes!!

Let me also say, to me, vomiting is one of the worst experiences known to man and woman. I HATE to throw up. I will do anything to avoid it. I have strong throat muscles and will will-power through most potential throw-up episodes. I just will not do it.

So this new pregnancy "trick" is really upsetting me. I wake up, go quickly upright (not so easy at 28 weeks!) and swallow. Yuck. One time, I even aspirated some yuckiness, and ended up coughing for 20 minutes. Super yuck.

What the hell is this? I've never read about this anywhere - have others had this? I was able to avoid the pukes during the 1st tri, only to get them now? Blech.

Good thing I already love this critter girl so much. I know she is worth it, but seriously, girl, if you could do something to make this stop, I'd really appreciate it!

Randoms

I'm feeling the need to post, but I also feel like I don't have that much to post about these days. So this may be a bit of a random dump of thoughts, not really related or tied together. Sorry.

After such a whirlwind roller-coaster of a 1st tri, what with the bleeding, bedrest and blechyness, the 2nd tri has been a breeze. I have lost all food aversions, and just crave spicy food at the moment. I'm even back to cooking regularly, which is nice. I'm hoping this keeps up, I have actually really liked being pregnant these last few months. And as of this weekend, I'm done with the 2nd tri (I think, the whole trimester/month thing confuses me a bit). Can you believe it? I certainly can't. 3rd trimester? 28 weeks? Amazing.

We are really in full swing for prep for baby. Once I passed my self-imposed moratorium on all things baby, the flood gates opened I guess. I ordered a crib and baby furniture stuff. Delivered in a few weeks, it will be truly surreal to see it in my house. Honestly, I think I may spend a few days just sitting in the baby's room, staring at and touching all the furniture. Is that weird? Well, yes, but I don't care. It is just so exciting!

And we begin car shopping tonight. I currently drive a 9 year old Civic, which I love. Great little city car. But it is not the most practical or safe for a baby. So we are looking at small SUVs and small station wagons. OMG, station wagons!! I am becoming my mother. Tonight we look at Su.baru. We'll see how it goes.

And joy of all joys, it is getting cold here. I have never been more excited for a change of season in my entire life. Ever since the DL, I have been one of those always-hot people. Which is weird, because I used to be one of those forever-cold people. I used to hate the winter, dread the snow. Now, I can't wait!! My happy anticipation of winter may also have to do with the fact the critter is scheduled to arrive in January. Small detail.

There are many out in the bloggy world it seems either prepping for an FET/cycle, in a 2ww right now, or in early stages of OMG-I-got-a-positive-beta!! I'm wishing you all the best, and wish for things to go just as you hope. Me and the critter have everything crossed for you!

I'm making progress

I really am trying to embrace the fact I might end up with a baby. Embrace that others are normal, and want to celebrate said baby, and that I'm the weird, ultra-superstitious, and a tad crazy, one. But I think I'm improving. I think I'm making progress here.

I have been to several baby stores. Stores I was scared to even enter until after 20 weeks. I have been to several now. Sometimes more than one in a day! That's progress!

And at these stores, I've chosen stuff that I think the critter will need. Like baby stuff. Clothes, and cribs, and bathtubs, and bouncer seats. Real stuff that a real baby would use. Maybe even MY baby might use. Wow, that's progress, right? Not just a hypothetical baby, but MY critter baby.

And I've scanned all these things in the fancy-magic scanner thingy, and now they are all in my (well, the critter's) baby registry. Out there, for all the world to see. And for people that know me and coming to one of my showers to buy for the critter.

Granted, it was horribly overwhelming. There is so much stuff...and not all of it the baby needs. But stuff marketed to freaked out soon-to-be-moms like me that the baby allegedly needs. It is a lot to wade through. And for someone that has panic attacks even entering these baby emporiums, I am really proud of myself for picking out a whole registry of baby stuff. I researched, I weeded through, I asked a few moms I know. I think I did alright by the critter. She will have a place to sleep, things to wear, a place to bathe, and stuff to clean up her poop.

It is progress. And I'm proud of me for getting over the fear, embracing what is looking like my future reality as a mom of a critter, and just doing it.

Get me an umbrella!

There are showers in my forecast. Baby showers, with a chance of games. ACK!!

As you may all know - cause I told ya! - I am not too into girly things. Like Bachelorette parties, large gaggles of women, ladies's nights, that sort of thing. And as you might imagine, baby showers fall into this category of dreaded things too.

But you know I can't get out of it. Or them, as the case may be. I know this is how other people express their happiness about me (finally!) having a baby. And I can't be grouchy about that, I guess. So I will smile, go along, and hopefully not have to play too many games. Good lordy, I hate those games.

So I am having 2 showers thrown for me - a contrast in shower styles. First, my MIL is throwing me a traditional shower in mid-November. This will be a Sunday luncheon shower in the 'burbs, women only. I'm sure there will be games, lots of pink decorative stuff, and opening of gifts in public. I will surely receive lots of frilly pink stuff. Imagine me with a smile plastered on my face for 3 hours. My cheeks will be sore.

In contrast, my SIL is throwing me a shower that I think I can tolerate better. It is a couples shower, cocktails and buffet dinner, no games, minimal present opening. And it is right before Xmas, so it will also be the holiday party for our group of friends. So really, like a normal get-together with friends - of both the female and male variety! - to celebrate our imminent arrival. I think I can do this type of shower.

A consequence of having this weather in my forecast is having to register for baby stuff. And geez Louise, babies need a lot of stuff. But that is another (long) post for another day.

Have a good week!!

p.s. have you noticed I'm becoming more confident that a baby might come out of this? Good eye! I have been feeling much more relaxed in the past week or so. Extra movement, reaching 26 weeks, looking huge, it is all helping my psyche. Damn, am I jinxing myself for admitting that? ACK!!

On my own...sorta

My Mr. P has left the building. And the country. And the hemisphere.

He's gone on a 8-day trip to Asia, and even though he just left yesterday (and is still flying as I type this!) I miss him already. He took this trip last year too, and during that week away, I found out we had 2 euploid blasts. YAY! And my then-unmarried friends told me confidentially they had just discovered a whoopsie pregnancy. UGH!!

I'm hoping this week is less eventful than that one was.

But looking back, I am in such a different place from last year. I was on a break from cycling, working out like mad, and wondering if there was ever going to be an end to this craziness of IF.

And this year, while I'm alone again, without Mr. P being here, I'm not really alone this year. I have the critter. (OK, and my sweet kitty Umps, who is snuggled up on me now and helping my type - good kitty!) But this critter - she keeps me company. She has been especially active the last 2 days, which is great company. I love her movements, mostly when they are not focused on my bladder, and even then it's ok. We're keeping each other company. It's nice.

Such a different place from last year.

the charm

As in, third time's the charm.

We saw chambers, people. 4 of 'em. In her little bitty heart. And we even saw her little heart valves clicking away, just as they should. She is still growing, and measuring right on track. She looked bigger to me today, more like a baby every time.

And if you heard sounds of liquid hitting the floor this morning, it was just my heart melting completely when the critter YAWNED. OMG, it was the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life, she yawned and stretched her arm over her head. Sigh, I think I'm in love.

She is charming her way right into my heart, and she is not even here yet. Boy, am I in trouble. Good trouble. :)

25 weeks

Another week down! Every week, I look forward to the turning of the calendar, it never gets old.

Things are about the same, although I had my first real bout of horrible heartburn on Saturday. It was what I call "vampire" heartburn, because it feels like i have a stake driven through my chest, and it goes all the way through my back. Ouch. But after about 8 Tums over a few hours, it went away. Not sure what caused it, it began in between meals. Who knows. But it has not come back, so hopefully it will not be a regular occurrence. I've never been one to have heartburn, I think I've had it twice in my life, so maybe I'm not prone to it? Please, let that be true!

We got tomorrow for our 3rd try u/s to catch one last glimpse of the critter's 4-chambered heart. I'm just looking forward to seeing her again. She's been very active lately, bouncing around. I really really really like feeling her move. I've said it once, I'll say it again, feeling critter movement is by far my favorite part of being pregnant. Love it. Never gets old.

And did you see - Dr. Edwards, pioneer of IVF, was just awarded the Nobel Prize in Medicine. It is a bit sad, as he is elderly now, and in failing health and may not be able to accept this award in person, but I'm so glad he and his work are being acknowledged. His work has certainly changed my life, and am thankful every day that IVF was an option for me. Thank you, Dr. Edwards, and congratulations!

Have a good week!!