After a flurry of activity last week, things have slowed down again and I find myself again waiting around for the next phase to start. We are going to the far-away clinic in early August, but until then, there is not much to do.
On another note, I have been thinking about anonymity in blogging. The blogging world is different one than the IRL world. There are things I would write here that will not be shared with most, if not all, IRL friends or family. Personally, I think my tendency is to keep things to myself, keep things private, anonymous. But I am increasingly conflicted about this as I go through IF and find comfort in other's blogs. (Along a similar vein, I did a post a few weeks back about the struggle of telling IRL people about our IF struggles, and we are telling a few more IRL people these days.)
But now this conflict is bubbling up here in blogland too. I am beginning a new part of this journey, and find myself seeking others who have gone down the same path. I find myself searching the internets for people that went to the far-away clinic. Which makes me realize that if someone searched for my experience, they might not know where I went for treatment because I'm vague. While I don't think it would be hard to figure out where I'm seeking treatment if you read this regularly, the clinic name would not be searchable, nor would someone just stumbling upon this blog figure it out right away.
So what's my problem? Why not just be up front about it? My hesitancy of sharing more specific details about any clinic, hospital or doctor is rooted in fears of accusations of slander or discovery of specific comments I make by those that are caring for me. I am trained in the mental health field, and the utmost importance of confidentiality is drilled into our brains. It feels odd to share specifics about my care to the whole world. If I were someone's healthcare provider, I'd be pretty weirded out if they were blogging about me. It might even change the way I care for them or communicate with them. It would certainly be in the back of my mind when we interact. And I don't think I want that from people who are caring for me.
But I also feel conflicted, because I want to help others by sharing my experience. And help myself by being fully open about what I'm going through. That requires being specific, right?
I'm looking for opinions here - so please comment about what you think. Should I be more specific about the far-away clinic? Is it ok to keep things vague?
And lurkers - I need your thoughts most of all! So de-lurk, and comment, just this once!
Repeat: Cold Peace
1 day ago
You should share at your comfort level! This is your place to let go as much as you need (or don't need) to. Be completely comfortable.
ReplyDeleteI tend to over-share ... I think I'd be the one that the health care providers would be leery of. :) Although, I love all the ones I've met so far!
I agree that you should share at your comfort level... I'll give a little piece of my history. We spent years hiding things. With friends, family and the blogosphere. Finally after one too many pregnancies to deal with and idiotic stories, we started educating people more.
ReplyDeleteI, too, probably share too much information and most probably don't care. But, if we can help just one person/couple understand things more and let them know that they are not alone. :)
I agree with the comment above. Whatever you are comfortable with, though having finally told a few additional people IRL this past week, I am surprised at how relieved I felt.
ReplyDeleteWhen we went to our 'close by' clinic (which is still an hour away by subway), I was secretly hoping to see someone who looked like me. Not someone that I know, just someone who could be a waiting room buddy, cycle pal - I don't know.
Instead, the other couples in our required orientation were scary (for a variety of reasons) and DH and I were not comforted at all.
So, not as helpful as perhaps you might need, but I think that a few key IRL people, the world of blogs and then something completely ridiculous to read in the waiting room or during your travel are a good start.
I guess I'd say (ditto along the lines of comfort level) you can go into detail and not have it so specific as to reveal the exact clinic. I plan on posting our IF history and perhaps if she really read it my doctor would figure it out, but that's such a small percentage and like you mentioned, if I help or give a few people some support or hope in posting, then it's worth it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comfort level comment. I will admit that I started blogging because I could not find info about people travelling to a far off place for treatment. I don't have a choice - I have to travel if I want to do it... and so does everybody who lives here. But I didn't know who to turn to IRL for info so I went online and specific info about the clinics that I was considering was a lifesaver. Since then, I've discovered that IRL if I am willing to share my journey, others have been willing to share theirs. I do not feel alone anymore but I also don't tell them even half of what I post in my blog. Only a few even know that I do it - but those who do say it makes them feel like they're not alone either. It still doesn't make me comfortable to 'come out' any further though...
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment on my blog! I agree with everyone else, blog at a level that gives you comfort, just be you. I'm a very open book on my blog giving high-def details, but that's how I am in real life too. Best of luck to you on your journey with the far away clinic, and yes I figured out which clinic just by hearing you describe them! =)
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