Monday, July 20, 2009

Stuck

I have nothing of interest to post on the IF front. I am stuck again in the waiting game, and each time it feels time moves slower. Ugh, I am ready to move on with my life, but I am stuck. Sigh.

I am keeping myself busy, but it feels like going through the motions at time. We had dinner with my brother and sister-in-law this weekend, which was much fun. Saw my niece before we left, and she is just the cutest thing. Which breaks my heart every time. I love to see her, but it also makes me acutely aware of what I don't have. And I also hung out with some girlfriends on Saturday afternoon. But of course, one friend just has her second child, and another girl there was pregnant. So in the middle of a nice afternoon, I found my thoughts wandering. First to envy (and yeah, maybe a little hate and jealousy) and then just sadness. With a smile on my face. Blech.

So I'm struggling a bit. I'm ready to move on, be a mom. Or at least start doing things that might help that process along. But again I am waiting around, and it is wearing me down. I'm stuck.
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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 20, 2009 at 10:40 AM

    Hang in there, Pie. What's the the next date on your timeline? The waiting is the worst part! And I hate having those same jealousy feelings. Since we started TTC, both of my brothers and their wives have gotten pregnant and had babies (well, one is due next month). And we continue to wait. Keeping you in my thoughts.

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  2. AnonymousJuly 20, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    The waiting is the worst. So far I haven't been very successful at it. I try to stay distracted but I just seem to keep coming back to it - I have IF OCD, I think. But - July is almost over! Less than 2 weeks til August!

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  3. PieJuly 20, 2009 at 2:52 PM

    Thanks Ladies. So the next date is August 6. Seems like an eternity from now. And Stacey - I totally have IF OCD. I obsess and google search over and over. Ugh!!

    But always good to know I'm not the only one :)

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  4. KikiJuly 21, 2009 at 5:50 AM

    i too an obsessive googler. but i agree that waiting can drive you insane. dh and i always put on the happy face when around all of our friends and family. keep your chin up... they way 2009 has flown by August 6th will be here in now time!

    ICLW

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  5. Meg.July 22, 2009 at 1:06 PM

    Stopping by to give you a little ICLW love. *hugs*

    The waiting and not knowing is so terribly difficult....especially when you're surrounded by babies and pregnant bellies. =(

    I hope you're able to fill your days with a little bit of joy before you take the next big step!

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