Freedom & Reality

A very nice weekend. We had great weather, so lots of time hanging out in the yard and - delight of all delights! - walking around the neighborhood.

Yes, it is true. I have gotten out of my house! Whooo-hoo! Not far, but out nonetheless. Mr. P took a friend to the Cubs game Saturday (that would have been too much for me) but I met them for snacks at a local bar/grill after the game. And Sunday we met a few friends for lunch on a nice neighborhood restaurant patio. Twice in one weekend - I was out! Very very exciting stuff.

I'm at 12 weeks now - but as far as I've read, I'm still not out of the first trimester. I'm not 100% on how this whole trimester thing works. Whatever, another week down, it is a good thing. I'm feeling about the same. Spotting with the poop, although not every time now, so improvement there I guess. Still some queasies, but just at night, like after 8pm.

And last night I asked Mr. P if he could see a difference in my belly. He looked at me like I was crazy (he does that a lot these days) and said, "Of course!" I've been thinking I still just have my post-IVF/DL/FET belly fat. But as I was looking at my gut last night, and Mr. P looking with me, he pointed out how it is lower than where the fat is, and firmer and more filled in. And it would explain why my clothes are not fitting so well.

OK, so maybe you all are not surprised to hear that my abdomen is changing. But for some reason, this is very surprising to me. I might actually be pregnant. Huh. It just doesn't seem real, or like it is happening to me. It is an odd feeling. I mean I know in my brain I'm pregnant. I know this. But in my heart, in my true self knowledge, my internal me - I'm still surprised, and not totally convinced of it all.

Will that change? I wonder....