I've been given a ton of pregnancy books. Which is very nice and generous of the givers, as this is probably hundreds of dollars worth of books.
But you know what all these books have in common, and therefore lack in information, in my opinion? They are written for fertiles, by fertiles.
Sure, they might have some half-hearted pages at the end of the book mentioning this new-fangled ART technology. But they will spend pages, chapters even on coming to terms with being pregnant, surprise pregnancies, etc.
There needs to be a book about being pregnant after IF. There are some donor books, some adoption books, surrogacy even. But straight IVF? Not so much. I guess after all the stress that multiple IVFs bring, I'm instantly cured when I get pregnant? I'm "normal" again, suddenly? Cause I don't feel normal.
There are also books about parenting after IF, but what about the 9 months before that? What about the constant fear, the odd guilt of finally getting pregnant, the need for rental dopplers, and the emotional adjustment of going from intense and frequent medical intervention to being a "regular" patient seen infrequently? What about learning to trust your body again?
I feel like I'm going through all sorts of things, both emotional and physical, and very little of my experience is reflected in these books. And the experiences the books do devote lots of space to, these topics really don't resonate with me.
I mentioned this to Mr. P the other day, and he suggested I write this book. I don't think I'm the best writer out there, and not so sure I could really pull it off. So I'm willing to put this idea out there to the universe in hopes that it will inspire someone to take this idea and run with it.
Because it is needed. I need it.
#Microblog Monday 594: Travle
16 hours ago
Wow Pie, what a great concept. I've read about so many other IF bloggers who've said they didn't feel like a 'normal' pregnant person.
ReplyDeleteWhile I'm not quite in your position yet, your line about "... learning to trust your body again" hit me like a ton of bricks.
Great post.
You don't have to be "the best writer out there" you just have to write it! I think you should do it!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea! I wonder why there aren't any books out there already for pregnant women who find success with IVF. Have a good weekend!
ReplyDeleteI've often had similar thoughts about a documentary about infertility. A film that would show family and friends the truth about what we go through - the ups, the downs, the uncertanity, the setbacks, the sacrifices, the stuff beyond our control.
ReplyDeleteI bet with all the cliff-hanging moments we go through, it is perfect for a TV reality show, you know - end each show j
just as the couple us waiting on their POAS results or the nurse calls with the HCG numbers. Watch out Mark Burnett! ;o)
I absolutly LOVE this idea. It really is something that should be done. I would so love to write this book but I don't feel near qualified as I don't actually know if I am infertile and have not been through the trials of treatment.
ReplyDeleteI am working on turning Mr IVF into a book and Mr Inbetween will be the follow up (well that's the dream). I can't cover the chick aspect but there is just nothing for guys in any of this IVF stuff, so I want to cover that base very badly. I am thinking book - HBO series "useless sex in the city" then an Oprah and Dr Phil tour and finally my own TV series called "jack and sue and the hard work 2". one problem - our names arent jack or sue, but in showbiz we can call ourselves anything we want I guess. The question is - do I truly put my real name on the book - or do I keep the secret identity approach. Fyi - I think someone has written the book you talk about - I just cant remember it. Geez - that's a pretty useless tip then!
ReplyDeleteoh one other thing... welcome to Inbetween land, its not normal at all. It's like a willy wonker experience, all sugary and chocolatey and lovely on the surface but deeper down you worry about kiddies getting hurt.. this could be my best analogy yet come to think about it. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Pie,
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great idea. I wanted to add that my husband works in a major publishing house in NYC. He says that if you get a writing book and put together a credible proposal, he will pass it on to an editor. That might motivate you!
Oh, and the same thing goes for you Mr. Inbetween!
You are SOOO right. This is an area that is not covered anywhere. What to Expect when Expecting makes me crazy because it assumes everyone gets pregnant easily and stays pregnant. I can't even comment on any others, because I have avoided them after this experience. Pregnancy in an IF girl is a whole different world and someone should acknowledge it!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat idea! You could just publish your blog - it's all right here!
ReplyDeleteHi there, I have just discovered a book, written by an Australian Psychologist called ‘IVF and ever after’ it covers exactly the things you are taking about. It is available on Amazon.
ReplyDeleteYou don't think the becoming pregnant bit is hard, but it sure seems that way after IVF.
Wishing you well!