I think Mr. P and I are agreed on doing a new cycle for November. So while I was waiting to have my regroup phone call with Dr. Famous, I called the nurse to ask for a new cycle calendar. I was hoping to get an estimate of this cycle so we can figure out Thanksgiving plans. She said, "No problem, I'll get the word from Dr. F and let you know Monday."
Great.
No word on Monday, so I send an email reminding her about the calendar. I get an email back saying she'd speak with Dr. Famous today, and get me a calendar by the afternoon.
Great.
The phone rings mid-afternoon, and lo and behold, it is my nurse. What, is she going to tell me my calendar? No, I'm not that lucky, I should know better by now. The nurse says, "I spoke with
Dr. Famous and he would not give you a calendar until he speaks with you. I told him you had a call scheduled, but were hoping to get some dates, but he said he needed to talk to you first."
Uh-oh.
I asked her if this meant bad news, and she sort of laughed and said no, she didn't think so. I asked does this mean things may change, and she said she didn't know and was eager to get off the phone. I have a feeling she knew more than she was able to let on, but wasn't supposed to talk to me about it. That was for Dr. Famous to do. Next week.
So a new type of waiting. In addition to the waiting I'm doing already (have a child, get genetic test results back, frozen transfer, fibroid surgery, etc) I can now add this. Waiting to hear if you are allowed to cycle again. Fun!
I'm trying hard not to catastrophize, and I do want to talk to Dr. Famous about how I felt they cycle went, which in my mind was only so-so. But I'm scared. All the "what ifs" creep into my head. I'm scared to hear my eggs are crap. I'm not ready to hear that yet. I'm scared to hear he thinks this won't work for me.
But I have to wait to hear what he thinks. And think the worst until then.
Repeat: Cold Peace
1 day ago
I don't think he's going to tell you your eggs are crap or that you can't cycle again. You made a blast, 4/6 fertilized! Seriously, on my first cycle with them I had 20 eggs, 12 mature and only 2 fertilized and they let me cycle again for goodness sake! I bet he wants to talk protocol changes and that would affect the calendar. That's my guess anyway.
ReplyDeleteI know the waiting sucks. It really does. And I'm sorry you have to wait for one.more.thing.
Are you going to do depot lupron pre-FET for the beta integrin?
PS Thanks for the award--I promise to get to it very soon :)
Yuck, more waiting!!
ReplyDeleteWhat type of genetic testing did you have done?
This must be maddening Pie. I'm sorry that you have to wait. As you may or may not know, I had fibroid surgery too. Are you doing laproscopy or a full incision?
ReplyDeleteTry not to think the worst. I know it's easier said than done. Maybe he just wants to know how you would feel about a new protocol or maybe some new combination of meds...maybe he wants to discuss your next steps with you instead of just telling you what to do. I'm hoping that he wants to have a good conversation with you about your treatment. I wish my doctor had done that instead of just handing me off to my nurse most of the time. Good luck with the waiting, I know it's stressful.
ReplyDeleteGargh -- the waiting upon waiting upon waiting -- it's a wonder you're not completely nutty at this point. Sorry that you got only enough info to make you more anxious (do the REs and nurses actually know that happens?). I hope that Dr F calls you early and that the report is a good one.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement everyone!!
ReplyDeleteIF Optimist - I'm not sure about the surgery yet - I'm getting a local 2nd opinion next week, so we'll see.
Jem - We did microarray, which tests all 46 chromosomes. It's a research protocol now, but I bet in 10 years it will be the norm.
Last Chance - Yeah, I'll have to do the depot lupron. Not looking forward to the menopause hell.
Waiting on top of waiting...yuck. Hope it goes by quickly for you.
ReplyDeleteThat is some serious definition you are developing in your wait muscles.
ReplyDeleteIt would take a stronger person than me to not imagine the worst when Dr F says he has to talk to you before scheduling another cycle. I hope, however, that he just doesn't know how saying things like that can freak a woman out and you get reassuring news from him next week.
OMG, all the waiting!! Ugh! Can't wait to hear what the Dr. has to say, kup!
ReplyDeleteMore waiting? Funny that we can build our biceps, cardiovascular strength etc., but this waiting, constantly looking toward the next milestone doesn't condition us and make it any easier. Sorry Pie!
ReplyDelete