I'm still here

Still here. Still putting one foot in front of the other.

My mom's in town this weekend. I've been hanging out over at my brother's house a lot, seeing my niece. Always bittersweet. And my sister-in-law, who will be 41 in March, is pregnant after her latest IVF. She has always gotten pregnant after every IVF she's done. But, none has resulted in a live birth. (My niece was a miracle natural baby after an IVF miscarriage) But I think she has the full belief that IVF will work. I wish I still had that feeling.

We've inquired about getting on the schedule at the far away clinic for a new freeze-all cycle in November/December. I'm thinking at this point, I might as well cycle while I'm as young as I'm gonna get. My uterus will be there, but I should stockpile embies while I can. So I should get a new calendar Monday. I'll be curious to see if I stay on the same protocol.

And my Auntie arrived yesterday, pissed off as usual. I think the fibroid is making my periods more uncomfortable, and more chunky monkey. Blech.

That's it. Hanging in there, trying to be future-focused. Trying to keep a bit of hope in what appears to me most of the time to be hopeless.